6.18 | Mycelium Lore and Trust Origin Story with Magdalene Bandorai
>> Isha Vela: Welcome to Waking Up Wealthy, the podcast for visionaries and rebels who are ready to revolutionize their relationship with money and create powerful collective ripples with the money they make. I’m your host, Isha Vela, trauma psychologist, somatic practitioner, financial professional, and minimalist, bringing you practical money tools, unconventional wealth perspectives, and Aquarian era business strategies to guide you in building wealth that’s aligned, ethical, and empowering. Let’s wake up to the true meaning of wealth together.
>> Isha Vela: Welcome to Waking Up Wealthy, the podcast
>> Isha Vela: for visionaries and rebels who are ready
>> Isha Vela: to revolutionize their relationship with money and
>> Isha Vela: create powerful collective ripples with the money they make.
>> Isha Vela: I’m your host, Isha Vela, trauma psychologist, somatic practitioner, financial professional, and minimalist, bringing you practical money tools, unconventional wealth perspectives, and Aquarian era business strategies. Strategies to guide you in building wealth that’s aligned, ethical, and empowering. Let’s wake up to the true meaning of wealth together.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: I know we should have just talked about all that. You should go back over what we just talked about now that it’s recording to explain.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah. And we’ll. You know what, we’ll circle back around to it because it does come back to trust and trusting ourselves.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: Yeah.
>> Isha Vela: and sort of the, you know, just so that you listener know, like, why we’re doing this podcast is because a lot of people have been commenting on my posts on Instagram is that we, you know, a lot of people have been saying, like, oh, I don’t have. I don’t have that group of people I really trust that I can start a savings circle with or, you know, because trust is the foundation of a matriarchal economy. And I was like, talking to my partner, Magdalene Banderai. Thank you for. For doing this. Spontaneous. yeah, so we wanted to come and talk about how we met because we haven’t known each other for very long, and we are in the process of developing trust, and we wanted to get into the weeds with you and share with you, like, what it’s been like for us.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: Yes, absolutely. it’s crazy where we’ve come from and are, and what we’ve already been able to establish between. Between us. And it just makes me. That’s the thing I love about the timeline that I’m on with you because, this is, you know, I can tell that this is, We’re resonant that way.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: I’m so trusting of that. And to see then it actually be embodied in our behaviors and the way that we. We show up for each other and then the way that we hold each other up when we need it.
>> Isha Vela: And. Yeah.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: You know, really, we’re in it. I mean, we’re in as much as you, I think you can be, you know.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: it feels like I always have a smile on my face. Like I’m just happy because I feel like I’m practicing what I’m supposed to be practicing.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah, absolutely.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: Even, you know, being authentic and being myself and moving from that place and working with integrity and from my gut and from my intuition, you know, and my knowing at this point. And.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: So far, like, that’s the thing. I think that’s beautiful because we are able to adjust. And as I was just telling you over WhatsApp, that I feel like my nervous system feels so safe. Yeah. And that is. I. I mean, that’s what I know. I know I need in my life, so. Right. Absolutely. Satisfying need, you know, that I desperately. Without and neglected.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: And so it’s. I really am feeling that community building.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah. Yeah.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: Seeing it. And then that. How that’s rippled out as we’ve worked together and as we’ve talked to people and as people have folded in, now we’re building trust amongst those people. And, And it’s just. It’s been just absolutely amazing to see. Like, I’m.
>> Isha Vela: Like I said, how many months has
>> Magdalene Bandorai: it been on my face? I’m so.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: Much freaking fun doing this.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah. Yeah. We’re always smirking on our calls, which is great.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: Yeah. And just. Even though most of the time we’re like, I don’t know what to do and.
>> Isha Vela: Right. We’re just figuring it out. Yeah.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: But it feels like even that has, you know, this really feels aligned and ordained, preordained, you know?
>> Isha Vela: So let’s. Let’s go back to the story then. Like.
>> Isha Vela: When. Do you remember when I posted that in the matriarchal. like, what was it?
>> Magdalene Bandorai: Matriarchal Community Network.
>> Isha Vela: Yes.
>> Isha Vela: Ah.
>> Isha Vela: So it was a group on Facebook. And I came in, somebody told me about it, or I found it, and then I made a post in there because I wanted to have conversations about matriarchy. And then you reached out to me over, Over Messenger.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: Oh, yeah. So, like, before I even realized it was Isha Vela, you know, whatever it was, I basically reached out because I was being kind of protective of the group.
>> Isha Vela: Yes.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: Just wanting to make sure it wasn’t just like a. Ah. Somebody coming into the. To the group just to try and sell, essentially.
>> Isha Vela: Right, Right.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: And I. I really wanted to make sure that there was transparency. If that, was what it was, it would be fine. It just wanted. I needed there to be the transparency that was stated clearly. And, there was no manipulation.
>> Isha Vela: And I really appreciated you setting that boundary with me, and that helped me feel safe because you. I, like, I sensed in that moment that you knew how to. That’s the information that I received from that interaction.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: Yeah.
>> Isha Vela: And then we ended up meeting on a Zoom call, and we ended Up. Like, it was like you shared your story and it was like, so you were so raw and open and honest about it that. And I just felt very touched by it because, like, you talked about, like, neurodivergence, and you talked about, like, chronic illness, and, like. And, there were just so many places where you and I were just, like, pinging off of each other that I’m just like, this is my person.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: Yeah. I have, effectively died and been reborn so many times that I no longer have the ability to fake at all, like, be filtered at all.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: At this point in my life, like, I am the most authentic, version. And that’s what I’m committed to being. And it’s not an easy thing by any.
>> Isha Vela: No.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: But. And also, exactly, like, that’s. I needed to, hold the boundary. And I’m really glad because as I remember. Here’s the thing. I don’t even remember the zoom was that after we already connected.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah.
>> Isha Vela: Like, after you set the boundary about.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: You had. You had posted about it. And, even in. Within the comments of it, I was like, my ears perked up about what you were talking about because I was like, wait, I’m thinking about this. Right? Like, I have been thinking about matriarchal business certification. And I mean, I’ve been thinking about this for years. I’ve had, like, plans and plans that I’ve whiteboarded, I mean, that have existed. And you saw my past, how I was, you know, either gonna be a politician or I was going to be an activist. And I said that eight years ago, and I updated, and I was like, oh, okay. Well, I guess activism won, you know, like, going that way, you know, but I. This whole thing I had been thinking about, Right. For years, and then, so somebody else. And here’s the thing. I have a master’s in accounting. So I was like, accounting dork. finance nerd. Worked in corporate finance and corporate accounting for 18 years, almost 20. there were no women around me at, ah. Any of those. Any of those.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah, yeah.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: You know, and I’m like, Gen X women. Like, there were no women. No. It was just me with a bunch of guys, like, the entire time. Right. So the fact that you had brought up something that I have been thinking about, but I don’t have anyone around me that I could talk to about this besides maybe people that I went to grad school with who I still, will talk to them about this. But, like, if they’re not on, like, my day to Day. You know, kind of. And so when you brought up what you did and the way that you tied matriarchy and finance together, I was immediately like, whoa, hold on a second.
>> Isha Vela: What?
>> Magdalene Bandorai: Excuse me, What? I need to be part of this conversation right now. And so I responded to you, and I was like, hold on a second. And I, like, my response was like that. Because I was like. And then. And then because I was like, like, holy, I need to talk to this lady about this.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah. Yeah.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: So then I was gonna come to your Zoom, and then I. I don’t think is.
>> Isha Vela: Isn’t that you, didn’t come to the Zoom. Yeah.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: And so then we actually connected on the Zoom.
>> Isha Vela: Yes, exactly. Yeah.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: Okay, then I’m up to speed because I’m like, wait, there was a whole part of mine that you didn’t know? You know, so anyway, there was like a whole.
>> Isha Vela: So, yeah.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: I mean, just to be on the wavelength that we are in terms of that, you know.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: In terms of our skill sets and, like, our kind of our, like, nerd out, you know.
>> Isha Vela: Yes.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: Niche thing that there’s just, I think a lot of people, a lot of women talking about per se. Just randomly.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: No, so the fact that we connected that way, instantly, too. I was like, wow, this is something. Because I’ve just. To even have this conversation feels very aligned.
>> Isha Vela: Yes. Yes.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: because how. That’s it. Like, how can I use these skills for that?
>> Isha Vela: Hey, real quick, before we get back to the episode. You keep saying you want an indigenous matriarchy now, and I believe you. And it’s going to require a relationship with money that’s completely outside of the TRADFI model and a body that’s mapped to ecological systems. So I made something for that. Flow is a matriarchal money masterclass followed by five emails over five days each, providing you an internal shift and a concrete action step to match it. It walks you through the somatic and ancestral patterns running the show and the structures that let money move through community instead of stagnating in scarcity. By the end of the week, you’ll be moving money like a matriarch. So find a link in the show notes, sign up, and flow will come straight to your inbox. Okay, let’s get back to it.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: We plug in.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: So to have somebody else that’s like, yes, let’s plug in and figure out what to do with these skills.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah. I just felt like you were. You were, like, rabid on that call. Like, we just. We spent like, an hour and a half on our first conversation and we were like. And it was just like the energy of it was. I just felt you so all in already. And I was just like, oh yeah,
>> Isha Vela: this is, this is a building.
>> Isha Vela: Right? You were just like, this is crazy. She’s gonna do it.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: that’s it. Like, you know, people are like, how did you. What’s going on? Where. How did you guys. And I’m just like, look. Oh yeah, enough. I’m just psycho. Enough. Let’s go.
>> Isha Vela: You know, exactly. Like, who is a psycho? Like, who match my level of psycho.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: And I am like, that’s it. Let’s freaking go. So ye.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: And that’s it. Why not like, yeah, this and see, I mean the worst that can happen is we die trying.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: And I. At this point at you know, based on the external, the external parts of the timeline, something’s has to give.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: If it has to be, you know, if I have to use my crazy for good. Okay.
>> Isha Vela: Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. You know, and I mean I, I want to be honest too, that I’ve just, I’ve met, you know, through network marketing and you have a background in network marketing too. You and I have both had to meet with lots of people. Right. We’ve brought people into our teams and. Right. We’ve like, we’ve met a lot of different energies. And so I know that in. As a psychologist as well, like, I trust myself. Go coming back to the trust conversation, I trust myself to be a really good read on people’s energy. Like, I’m. I’m usually never wrong. And you just gave me such like a. Like I just felt the cleanness of how you showed up. Like there was no. I didn’t feel any like hiding or any secret places. I just felt you like so like, yep, this is it. This is who I am. This is what you got. Boom. And I was like, wow, that is like. That feels so safe in my system of just you. Like here it is. Right. And you just kind of gave me the whole story and I was like, I love that. That for me is like, exhale. Right? Because I think that as a, as a neurodivergent and psychologist person, like I, I don’t have the tolerance to have like small talk conversation. And you and I went like deep within like 10 seconds. And I was like, yep, that’s my person.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: Yep. Yeah, that’s it. I exist at depth.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: Like I. Sorry, but. Sorry, but not sorry. Like at this point I exist at depth and Anyone who can’t meet me there pretty much gets filtered out immediately. And, as you can imagine, most people in the world do. So the fact that we. You know that. And. But the crazy thing is, I say that, but then everybody that I’m meeting on this timeline is meeting me right where I am.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: You know, and I am having, I am finding belonging. So that is even changing that story, you know.
>> Isha Vela: Wow. I love that.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: Yeah. In itself. So that’s it. Like, I. It’s just really awesome to meet other people who resonate and to feel that and to instantly feel that, the security in that, and the safety.
>> Isha Vela: The vibrational match.
>> Isha Vela: Right.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: Yeah. And just to feel like I can show up as myself completely and it’s received, you know, and it isn’t too much or isn’t enough.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: Or it’s right where it needs to be because we’re just. We’re just right at an authentic frequency.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah. Yeah, exactly.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: Exactly. Yeah.
>> Isha Vela: And so, you know, we are partnering together in a business, knowing each other for what, three, four months max, and. And sort of blending money and, governance and agreements together. And I would love for you to describe. And I will later, share my own process, but I would love for you to describe sort of like, what came up for you early on.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: Yeah. So that’s it. I came from. Like we talked about, came from network marketing, had a very tumultuous relationship with a former business partner and basically left that business limping away after a, you know, a targeted, smear campaign. And that was really tough. Those are really significant wounds that I was dealing with.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: And to go into business again, you know, a big part of it, I was like, wow, I really have to open my heart to this. This, you know, I have to even take a chance at all. But it always just felt like it was the right thing. I didn’t feel. You know, people would ask me too. They’re like, do you know this woman? Do you know. You know, like, what do you. Who is she? Like, where. You know, where’d she come from? Like, no, but it’s good. Like, it’s. I got it. Like, it’s good.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: Trust me, I feel good about it. So I had to really work through that part. As far as just the distrust, you know, the trigger that I had, and what I did with it and, you know, trusting myself that I can move differently and, that I’ll do what needs to be done and that I can always find my way through it. I mean, once I’VE gone through something like that. I’m like, bring it on. I mean I’ve made it through that. I can make it anything, you know. And then it just again because it felt energetically and I agree, like, I feel like that’s a place where I’m at too in terms of discernment now and really understanding and trusting myself. And I’ve always had those abilities but haven’t necessarily given them the honor that they deserve. And now I am. And so recognizing that that is a valuable thing as well and that it, you know, because I am somebody who. I do enjoy being away from everyone. And I would consider myself, I think an introvert mostly. Maybe an ambivert. But I definitely am somebody who would feel comfortable living in a cave six months of the year by myself. You know, and then back out and doing the things. but that’s it. So to be able to kind of show up and do this in the way that I need to and to have it energetically feel the way it feels and to trust that and to trust that whatever this is happening so that I can work through those wounds.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: Heal myself. Because I really am a believer that everything that happens is happening for me and I’m being supported. And so this is just another example of no matter what I get from this, it will be healing and it will be growth and I can show up. And it’s an opportunity for me to show up how I need to and what I, you know, valuing myself and what I need and honoring everything within me and what I need to give myself to because I’m the only one who can. So it’s not from a place of over performing or people pleasing either. It’s truly coming from integrity and authenticity.
>> Isha Vela: Right.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: Right. Most myself.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: And so that it’s like radical acceptance, radical integrity, radical honesty. really trying to be congruent between my thoughts, my actions and my words. Yeah. Like.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: Marrying those things. So that. That’s I think how you be. You embody it.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: That’s how you do that. That’s how you practice the work of.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: Your shadow and every. All the parts of you is by doing that. So yeah. This has allowed, I think me to just the same as you know, I lived through. this past summer I traded and I lit. I did the bartering thing as far as matriarchal economies. I traded, living off grid at a person’s property. in exchange to help them manage that property and having to, to walk that walk, you know, having to Kind of do those things and show up and do it from a place of, okay, I’m going to be the most me, and I’m going to do it from the. I know what’s right and wrong, and I’m going to move from that place and be balanced in it. And I’ve been able to do that. And that is. It feels so good. And I. That’s why I trust. That’s why I trust this. That’s why I trust you. That’s why I trust that it’s all. It’s going to be amazing because it feels like that in my body, somatically. You know, it feels like that.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah. Yeah.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: And.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah. And then, you know, and I want to name, like. Go ahead.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: I. No, go ahead.
>> Isha Vela: I. I wanted to name that. You know, we are still getting to know each other and we’re like, I think, learning each other’s communication styles and needs. And I think that there is, like, there’s that awareness. It’s kind of a little bit of like the app running in the background where we understand that it’s like, oh, yeah, we’re still getting to know each other. We’re still getting to know each other’s traumas and, like, things that trigger us. And. And so there’s this understanding that, yeah, there might be more of that. Like, that forming and storming phase where it’s like, yeah, we’re like, yeah, we’re working on this project together, and in that process, we’re gonna like, bump into places where we kind of like, oops, I didn’t know that about you. And. Right. All pieces where. Right. I’m gonna. I’m gonna expect that to happen because that’s just relationships. Right? That’s sort of like when people are getting to know each other and. Yeah. And. And getting to know each other’s communication styles and all of those things are. Is. It’s. I think it’s a very rich process. And I think there’s. There have been moments where I’ve just, like, I get scared, right? Because I’m.
>> Isha Vela: I’m actually.
>> Isha Vela: I think. No, I don’t think I know that I have more of an avoidant. I have had an avoidant attachment, style that’s sort of my. My default. I’ve done a lot of healing to have, like, a secure attachment. And I find myself. There are moments when I’m like, right. And that gets touched and I’m like, oh, oh, my God. And I start to get scared. And then, like, you know, I invite myself back in or we have another interaction and I’m just like. And I feel the safety of you showing up again. Right. Like, you’ve been such an amazing. Like yesterday we met and you just kind of like, no, let’s. We’re gonna chill out. We’re gonna talk to the trees. And I was like, yes, let’s talk to the trees. Yes.
>> Isha Vela: You know? Yeah.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: totally. It’s the big sister energy.
>> Isha Vela: Like.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah, yeah.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: It’s okay. It’s okay. We’re gonna be okay, you know?
>> Isha Vela: Yeah. Yeah. And so we’ve had the opportunity to show up for each other.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: Yeah. In.
>> Isha Vela: In different ways. And I think trust is made up of the consistency and the reliability. Ah.
>> Isha Vela: Right.
>> Isha Vela: Those are what. Right. What trust is made of.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: Like.
>> Isha Vela: Yep.
>> Isha Vela: Your.
>> Isha Vela: Your regular regularity. And when you are regular and you’re showing up, it’s actually like, it lands. Like, whatever you’re offering feels good, you know?
>> Magdalene Bandorai: Yeah.
>> Isha Vela: And that’s how trust is formed over time.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: Yeah. And I think also, too, it’s the repair, because there. Yeah. Where we have, like, kind of stepped on each other’s toes, you know?
>> Isha Vela: Yeah.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: And then, you know, if we say that to each other, then the other person’s like, oh, my gosh, I’m so sorry. You know, like, how do we. Yeah. okay. And we. So we’ve got to, like, learn the dance, you know, And I agree, like, that’s gonna take time, but it is. It’s just that consistency of, you know, we repair it and it’s okay. And then it’s.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: Just pick up and move again, you know? And.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: And I feel like that feels really good to know.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: Because it feels safe to be able then to show up when there’s times when you’re like, oh, dude, you stepped on my toe, you know?
>> Isha Vela: Yeah. Ex. Exactly. Exactly.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: But it doesn’t. But that’s what it is too, you know, and it isn’t like a. I. I just. I appreciate it. Like, I appreciate the way that we’re able to adjust.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah. Yeah. And one thing that’s really important for me in relationships is to be around people who understand shadow work. Right. When you talk about your death and birth and rebirth, I’m just like, yep, she gets it. And you’re not afraid of those parts of yourself. You’re not afraid of bringing them into whatever convers conversation. And that’s kind of like, that’s where the radical honesty and responsibility comes in of being like, yeah, this. This part showed up. Or like, I got scared about such and such because I had this part of my conditioning rear its ugly head and it can, it can. It’s all grist for the mill.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: Right, Right, Yeah. Yeah. And that’s it. It’s like I’m an alchemizer. Like shadow work. You have to. The only way out is through. But I also realized that not a lot of people choose that because it is a choice, you know.
>> Isha Vela: Right, right. Yeah.
>> Isha Vela: Ah.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: But luckily, unfortunately, I’ve always been somebody who’s chosen that. Yeah. Also that I’ve not really had a choice at times either, you know.
>> Isha Vela: Right.
>> Isha Vela: Yes.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: And it always has been. It’s still ugly even if you choose it or you don’t like. Either way it’s ugly. And Because it’s a death and a rebirth. But yeah. Every time I come out of Shadow Work it. I’m so much more myself, you know, And I’ve done that. Really. And I get to then have a timeline that looks how it looks now. Because I have to do it.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: Now hitting the point of like the understanding that everything happened to bring me here. Yes. For me, every.
>> Isha Vela: Yes.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: Little freaking stupid gnats. Eyelash was.
>> Isha Vela: Right, Right. And this is where it’s like this, this trust. Right. Like this. There’s trusting our process together, trusting ourselves in this process and then trusting the bigger process. Right. Like co creating with life and recognizing that life has been giving you some spankings and that each of those spankings came with this big beautiful learning experience that brought you to this moment for us to build this together.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: Exactly.
>> Isha Vela: It’s like magical.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: And that’s it. I’m. I’ve never been more powerful, you know, but that’s recovery required me to go into shadow work and it’s.
>> Isha Vela: Yes.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: You know, it’s required me, you know, it’s the descent, of Inanna. If. Or in. In that. That what’s the story. But if you know that, then that is what it is. It’s like the descent where you have to basically bury yourself. Yeah. And see the parts of yourself that are still hurting.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah, exactly.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: Yeah. So, that’s a process and it’s not for the week, but it’s also worth every single second.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah. Yeah.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: Again, here I am doing this.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: And I feel prepared.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And one thing that we were talking about before we got on the call is trusting ourselves to do this particular work. Right. Because I am a white appearing woman. I am Latina, I have a white mother. I’ve done a lot of decolonial work and I know that I have blind spots. I know that there’s so much more work for me to do. And so I’m coming into this with the humility of knowing that I don’t know everything and that I know enough to at least get it started and bring in the right people to support the process.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: Right.
>> Isha Vela: And that was really important for me. Also in meeting you and developing that trust is that you have been doing decolonial work. You’ve been doing anti racist work. Like you are somebody who, is in a white body and is also very clear on how whiteness shows up in spaces. And so that was super duper important for me.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: Yeah.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah. So I would love for you to speak a little bit about your own process of trusting yourself as a white woman.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: Yeah. You know, it’s. It’s difficult too, because I am, you know, I am working through that a lot. Right. So I definitely want to center black and brown and indigenous voices over my own most of the time. But I also recognize that I am who I am and I also know the skill sets that I have that I bring. That my privilege has allowed me to, know and to learn. And it would be silly to say that that isn’t valuable too, just because I’m a white woman. and that’s it. It’s using my privilege to build something different. And I by no means think that I have all the answers or that I am the loudest in the room. And I think Eisha knows that I’m also not. And trying to be. Not as much as possible. but realize that that’s a blind spot too, that I have to work on. And that’s it. It’s like being open to the criticism and the skepticism and the distrust there, which is also very understandable, you know, but also trusting that I have something that not everybody has to bring as far as skill sets and know that if I’m helping build that, then that comes from the right intention in the right place.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: And I’m not going to. Just because this outer body might look like this does not mean that I’m not channeling what I’m supposed to be doing here. You know, I’m supposed to be helping.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: I’m supposed to be serving for the greater.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: Yeah. So it’s trusting that too. It’s trusting that I know, who I am. I know what I stand for. I don’t have to prove that. I can show you, you know, by my actions, by my words, by my deeds, by my behavior. And I do every single day. So a lot of what is thrown is a generalization where you don’t know me as a person. and I can’t. I’m not in control of that. So all I can do is show up as me and do the best work I can to serve for the greater good. And I trust that that is enough.
>> Isha Vela: I love that. I love that we’re ending here. And in that enoughness. Right. And recognizing that you don’t have all the answers and I don’t have all the answers, but we have enough to get it started. Enough to have the seed or to continue the work that previous matriarchal scholars and builders and of course our ancestors have done. And we’re just kind of like carrying the lineage, just kind of another step. Exactly.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: A step forward.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah. Yes. Yeah.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: And adding the knowledge that we have to the.
>> Isha Vela: Yeah, exactly.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: Help move it forward. Kick the can down the road.
>> Isha Vela: Exactly. Exactly. I love it. Thank you so much.
>> Isha Vela: Yes.
>> Isha Vela: Thank you for being who you are and sharing yourself with. With whoever’s going to listen to this, whoever’s listening now and, Matriarchy or die trying.
>> Magdalene Bandorai: Matriarchy or die trying. And likewise, friend, I love you.
>> Isha Vela: Thank you for listening to today’s episode. Remember to hit the subscribe button to
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