6.5 | Network Marketing is Matriarchal

> Isha Vela: Welcome to Waking Up Wealthy, the podcast for visionaries and rebels who are ready to revolutionize their relationship with money and create powerful collective ripples with the money they make. I’m your host, Isha Vela, trauma psychologist, somatic practitioner, financial professional and minimalist, bringing you practical money tools, unconventional wealth perspectives, and Aquarian era business strategies to guide you in building wealth that’s aligned, ethical and empowering. Let’s wake up to the true meaning of wealth together.

I felt shame. Real, full body, visceral shame. And the shame story was saying, I have a PhD, I have options. And here I am getting into this. What are people going to think of me? And if you’ve ever felt that, if you’ve ever heard pyramid scheme when referring to network marketing and you felt your stomach drop, this episode is for you. Because what I found on the other side of that shame changed everything I thought I knew about how business and wealth building actually works. Before I get into the juicy stuff, I want to share a little bit about how I ended up joining a financial services brokerage with a network marketing business model. I like to call this a collective matriarchal business model because I also want to bust myths about solopreneurship and about the idea that more education equals more money. So I grew up in Puerto Rico. My parents, or my father rather, was high school educated, my mother was trade school educated. And we were lower middle class by, you know, us in Puerto Rico for Puerto Rican standards. We were definitely not poor. We were middle class. And it was instilled in me that education was the ticket off the island. And I definitely wanted to leave because even as a child I felt like I was being called into more than sort of the circumstances I grew up in. After getting one undergraduate degree in international studies, from Connecticut in, in, at a university in Connecticut, I worked for about six years in nonprofits and as a restaurant manager and server before deciding to go back to school. And because I wanted to become a therapist at age 27, I ended up having to get another bachelor’s in psychology to qualify for a PhD program in psychology. And then after seven years of, you know, PhD sacrifice and meager student pay while I was doing my postdoctorate time at a community mental health clinic at Yale, or it was connected to Yale, I experienced extreme burnout after the birth of my second child. I transitioned out of the community mental health clinic. I started my own private practice, and around this time I entered a four year trauma resolution certification program. And my practice was balling like it was doing great. But my income was capped by the number of hours in which I could see clients. I worked about six to seven hours a day for about $80 on average from what I was paid from insurance. So the lowest was $65. The highest was about a hundred. And I made about $7,500 a month, right, like fluctuating between 6, 6 to 7:50 or 7,500, which was not bad even for today’s standards. This is like what, eight years ago? Eight to 10 years ago. But when you consider the fact that it took me seven years to get my doctoral degree, hello, student loans, plus the two years of getting that second bachelor’s, plus living off exploitative wages, and on top of that, the cost on my body, I mean, where do I even begin, right? Never mind that it was also hard for my marriage. It was hard on my relationship because I was in a long distance relationship due to the fact that my, you know, where my university was located was not in a geographical location where my then husband could find a job in architecture. And looking back, I often think about the wealth I could have been building during those seven years. Not just building a business, but also taking advantage of compound interest. But the biggest cost was of course, the burnout, which irrevocably affected all my health, my diet, lifestyle, everything. And to be honest, I don’t have regrets because every single experience led to the wisdom I have now. I just don’t want you to do it the hard way. That’s why I’m telling the story. So let me show you briefly exactly how my income was capped. So when I had my private practice, I was making about $77,000 a year after taxes. And I couldn’t work any more than that because I was a sole breadwinner and a new mom to two children. My second child was born 17 months after my first. I was about 39 years old. I had already begun to figure out a way to move into entrepreneurship when Covid happened. And then when Covid happened, everything, like all my whole therapy practice moved on, and 30 hours a week. Because keep in mind that I was now in a divorce process and so I was in a co parenting situation. So I could only work when the kids were not with me. And when the kids were with me, they were doing school from home. So I made $160,000 in gross income that year. But I was right at the edge of burnout again. And that’s when I decided to launch my coaching business like full time. So launching full time was basically my, my burnout recovery plan. And at the beginning, it was an amazing identity growth process. I had so much fun learning about crafting, offers, copywriting, social media, marketing and sales, all the things. And I felt incredibly creative. The juices were flowing, but after a few years doing that, my body said no to the emotional intensity of launching. Like it was really, really intense for me. And I knew that, you know, in my late 40s, I wasn’t going to be able to Keep up with that intensity of launching over and over to put like basically food on the table. And my body was also saying no to running a business by myself, even though I had like, I had hired some help, but it was essentially by myself. And I, I don’t know, I just, that’s not what I wanted to create anymore. So I stopped launching and I started praying for a more sustainable solution. I really like wanted to co create with people, but I had no idea what that would look like. I was already like very much making connections with people and being on people’s podcasts, but it was more than that. And because post divorce I was deep into working with the energy of money and because I was working on my own financial wellness and education, I decided to say yes to a career in financial services because my advisor presented financial education to me in such a sexy way that I was like, everybody needs to know this. Everybody. Like, I was obsessed with sharing the financial independence, the information that I was learning from my meetings with my advisor. And I, I also, you know, I also wanted to build specifically with my best friend who was the, the creator or the, the, the brain behind this brokerage. So the truth is, though confession, I didn’t know that what I was getting into was network marketing. I’d had no prior experience in network marketing or multi level business models. And when I learned that’s what it was, I felt the full weight of that stigma. I’d heard all of the shit talk and the objections that, by the way, I’m going to break down later on in the conversation. But yeah, like all, like that was all I knew. So I was coming in with all of that. And that’s where I felt that visceral shame. And you know, I was worried that I had sold out in some way, like not just working in financial services, like in this normie kind of environment where I had been known previously as this rebel, this disruptor, but then also network marketing, like WTF? And then having so many other options as a PhD, was I taking a step back? But something shifted for me when I saw how many successful women, and spiritual women in particular, women were also in, network marketing. Mind you, they were not talking about it openly, but I saw what they were doing. I was watching them, I saw what they were doing with their lives also. And it was similar to how I wanted to live. Many of them were living abroad, many of them were unschooling their kids, they were living close to nature. And I was like, oh my God, I want to do that too. That’s just one of the many factors that made me decide to stay. And as I created a. A holistic trauma informed brokerage with my besties, essentially I started to ask myself why this felt so threatening to people. Like, I didn’t. I started to not get it anymore. So, so I want to ask you this. What if the way you’ve been taught to work, make money and build businesses, either by climbing the corporate ladder or doing it alone, is actually rooted in systems that are designed to burn you out? And I think that, you know, right, we live in a culture that rewards personal autonomy, independence, personal achievement at toxic levels. And this is exactly the opposite of how we are wired as humans. Especially women whose nervous systems are highly socially oriented. Right? We are. Humans are group. We’re pack animals. Right. Hey, real quick before we get back to the episode. You keep saying you want an indigenous matriarchy now, and I believe you. But wanting it and building it are two different things. And the gap between them is usually the absence of the system. So I built one. Sovereign wealth is a free blueprint for matriarchal finance and intentional community inspired and guided by indigenous wisdom. We’re talking financial councils, rotating saving circles, barter economies, land based abundance, seasonal money ceremonies, and intergenerational wealth transfer. All of it organized into actual steps you can start taking right now. This isn’t new. This is a remembering. Our ancestors built wealth without banks, without Wall street, without any of their systems. And we can do it again without a modern twist. It costs nothing because the return to what’s sacred doesn’t belong behind a pay wall. Download sovereign wealth using the link in the show notes and if you’re ready to take that fire into your business, I have something for you there too. Rooted to Rise is a step by step guide to organizing your business finances. So your soul led work becomes a matriarchal money machine. 10 steps, nervous system check ins. Built in a foundation for six figure scalability that doesn’t require you to abandon your body to get there. Two guides, one vision. Both free. Download sovereign wealth and root it to rise using the links in the show notes and let’s build. Okay, that’s the conversation and this disconnection from our nature and of course nature itself is the reason why many of us are mentally struggling, physically ill, burnt out and unhappy. And on top of that, we think that our problems are individual. We start like looking within our well, what am I doing wrong? But often our problems are collective and systemic. So wouldn’t it make sense that these systems, the Systems that disempower us, that tell us to do one thing that is really unhealthy for us. They would trash talk and make the alternatives to what they’re presenting to us as normal sound like a scam. Because in my opinion, the real scam is working a job for, for 40 years, right? Having someone else decide what your time and life force is worth while extracting the most vital years of your life, building someone else’s dream. And then at 65, you, you still end up not being able to afford your retirement because your 401k gave you a shitty 8, you know, 6 to 8% return, right? And so one thing multi level network marketing gets called a lot is a pyramid scheme. And so I want to get clear on what that is. A pyramid scheme is a fraudulent business model, which network marketing is not. That makes money primarily by recruiting new participants. And even each new level pays money up the chain to the earlier participants. And so what happens at the end or whatever, you know, whenever there’s enough people, the person at the top gets all the money, right? And the ones at the bottom get shafted. For me, that sounds a lot like a 9 to 5. Because when we look at largely at, large publicly traded US companies where the CEO to median worker pay ratio is usually around 200 to 1 to 350 to 1. So that means if the median worker earns $50,000 a year, the CEO might earn 10 to 17 million per year. And that is the pyramid scheme we were taught to aspire to. That is the pyramid scheme that is normal in our brains. But in our model, and I mean now network marketing, we are fully transparent about what each person makes. And each person started in the same place, right? They started at, you know, that first level of, of promotion or level, Right, Promotion level. But more importantly, in our model, the mentors, your mentors are actively invested in helping you replicate their results. Because when you grow, they grow as well. When is the last time your CEO was invested in you like that? But okay, right, Maybe you’re not in a 9 to 5, right? Most of the people listening to this podcast are entrepreneurs. Maybe you went the other direction. Maybe you’re a solopreneur. Or let’s talk about the girl boss trap. So the girl boss grind or the girl boss trap is just rugged individualism. With better branding, there’s conditioning, like our culture conditions you to believe that isolation, right? And doing it alone equals strength, right? That not needing anyone is a superpower. And at a certain point in my journey as A solopreneur. I found myself working over 40 hours a week in the name of freedom. And in that moment I was like, what the fuck is this? This is not working. Like, I came into this wanting to work fewer than 40 hours a week. Right? And personally, like even at that time, even more now. I knew too many solopreneurs who were carrying stress, tons of pressure and financial urgency because the market was fluctuating and they were burned out, they burned out, they burned down their businesses, etc. Etc. And in order for them to feel supported, you had to pay for support, right? You had to pay for an OBM and somebody to do your social media marketing, somebody to do your back end system, somebody to, I don’t know, do your scheduling or you know, you hire a business coach, like all the things or like a website designer. So if the corporate ladder is the real pyramid scheme and going solo is isolating and burning you out, what is the third option? Like, what’s the deal? So let me actually define what network marketing is because this is for me like kind of the sweet spot spot. Because most people are, are working from what they’ve been told, and sadly what they’ve experienced. Because not all network marketing, businesses are run in the same way. So network marketing is a business model where you earn income in two ways. You earn it from the products or services you sell directly and from building a team of people who do the same. Right? Right. And then you earn residual income from the, the folks who are selling the products. There’s no middleman, there’s no corporate office taking the lion’s share. The revenue moves through the network, which means the people doing the work are the people building the wealth. It’s also called multi level marketing because there are multiple levels of earning. But unlike a traditional hierarchy, those levels are open to everyone. You don’t get promoted based on someone else’s decision of what you are worth. You decide and build your own level. Right? Like what you put in is what you get out. You decide how deep and how wide your network or your team grows. And it’s interesting to me that, you know, a similar model exists in real estate, right? Real estate brokers have brokerages and they have agents selling homes and they, you know, know, earn a residual income from the sales from those, the, the home sales those agents make. But we’re not looking at real estate as network marketing, right? So here’s what nobody tells you. It’s one of the only business models in existence where a woman with $500 and a laptop and a phone can build something that’s scalable, inheritable and community rooted without a business loan, without a degree and without anyone’s permission. And that’s that for me is not a scam, that’s access. Okay, And I want to be clear, right, What I was alluding to earlier, network marketing, like any business model, be it coaching, anything is neutral. It’s a structure. And like any structure, it can be run in an oppressive, extractive, patriarchal way. Where pressure replaces invitation, where recruitment is predatory, where the culture is militaristic or toxic and the leadership is self serving. That is unfortunately the norm. But the model itself is not the problem. The energy behind it is because a hammer can build a home or it can cause harm. Ultimately the hammer isn’t the issue, right? In the same way that money has been used and abused. But money itself is not the issue. What matters is who’s holding it, what their intention is, what they value, what they embody and who they’re building for. And what I’m describing today is network marketing run as a matriarchal and mycelial business. What I mean by matriarchal is, is that it’s rooted in relational power, genuine care, reciprocity and generativity rather than dominance extraction or hierarchy. And by mycelial, I mean that it’s decentralized and grows through connection rather than centralized control. It’s mutually beneficial because it’s built on resource sharing. And instead of being transactional, we focus on building through trust, intimate connections, conversations. And the metrics are both individual and team based. Right? When you get your promotion, it’s usually because of multiple people rooting for you, carrying the flag for you. Right? And at the foundation of our model is the concept of duplication, which means we leverage our knowledge and experience to help other people obtain whatever goals they’re wanting to achieve. Whether it’s like, specific promotion or building a brokerage. Right? Building a specific type of brokerage, we enjoy residual, residual and leverage income, AKA what people know as passive. What isn’t really passive. Because we invest in our agents, we give them all the tools and all the knowledge that they could possibly want, right? For them to be successful. And the residual and leveraged income piece makes our model incredibly sustainable. Plus we can tend to future generations by being able to sell our business or pass it on to our children as an inheritance, right? They can inherit our agent code, let’s say, and that’s intergenerational wealth. So in this model, like running it in A matriarchal and mycelial way is intuition and relational leadership are not soft skills. They’re basically the foundation of how it’s run. And even though our model is technically hierarchical, we actually operated in a more decentralized fashion by sharing information, tools, energy, resources, all the things. And you know, I’ve seen it happen, like when someone is sick and needs to step away, other people can step in and take over so that, you know, clients or, or nothing else falls through the cracks. And like mycelium, one single contact, right? One single, let’s say, let’s call it a, A lead, right? In. In the language of business, which, like, I don’t like to think of people as leads, but one single contact can connect you to a vast network of opportunity. Right? Like one single person is like a no node in a network. So in this next section, I want to get into some of the fears and objectives because I’ve, I’ve heard every single one of these thoughts. I’ve had every one of these thoughts, and I want to show you exactly where they come from and provide you with, like a reframe. So the first is the pyramid scheme. And you know, again, people confuse network marketing with like, illegal schemes were only the top benefits. The stigma comes obviously from decades of shady practices and bad actors. And even though I already spoke to this, I want to say it again for the people in the back. Pyramid scheme you’re actually Living has a CEO making 300 times what you make. It has shareholders extracting profit from your labor. It has an organizational chart that goes up, you are at the bottom. Our model is transparent, duplicatable, and your mentors are invested in you winning because it helps them when you do. That’s not a pyramids, that’s. That’s community. Right? All right, the second, the second thing I hear a lot is most people don’t make money. And the stats often show that many folks quit early or earn a little. And this creates skepticism that success is unrealistic for the average person. The truth is, the uncomfortable truth is that most people don’t make money in traditional businesses either. 65% of small businesses fail within 10 years. Most employees never get the raise they were promised. Most solopreneurs burn out before they scale. Right. That was the case for me back then. Any business is going to take a few years to build. But because network marketing is often presented as a get rich quick strategy, people have unrealistic expectations of what is required to build and how long it takes to build the Question was never is success guaranteed. It never is anywhere. The question is, what kind of support structure do you have while you build? Because in this model you are not building alone. And we always tell people, like, we actually have metrics that let you know what is the average income that you can expect within the, like, how long you are in the business, right? And usually like the first year, it’s kind of like around 10,000 year. You know, 1 to 3 is 10,000 year. The to 6, it’s 88,000. Then after that, like the, the next three years is like you’re already into like the $300,000, right? So the way that we can scale is a lot different than your standard coaching model, which is, you know, takes a lot longer. It takes over 10 years to get to half a million marks sometimes. So the, another, another objection that I often hear is that it, that network marketing is exploitative of relationships. And this one is interesting to me because what we call exploitation we call networking everywhere else, right? When you’re, I don’t know, when your colleague sends you a referral to a plumber, that’s not exploitation. When your friend tells you about a job opening, that’s not exploit. When your bestie shares a, hair product with you, like, there’s a genuine care, right? There’s no real value. well, there’s value, there’s sharing. There’s a desire to kind of like, oh my God, I have this awesome thing. Let me share it with you. And that’s exactly like how women already communicate, right? This is what we already do and we’re just getting paid for it now, right? What makes it exploitation is when there is no genuine care, there’s no real value, there’s no relationship, there’s no reciprocity. And that’s exactly what our model is built against. We build through trust and intimacy, not through pressure and extraction. And if you’re doing network marketing the right way, I’m, sort of using quotes, air quotes, right now. The people around you or the people you bring in should feel like they were found, not used, or like they just won the freaking jackpot, right? And there’s this, like, I think that underlying this, this exploitative of relationships is, is like a fear of alienating friends and family by constantly pitching, right? People don’t want to feel used for sales or recruitment. That’s real. But the idea here is that you have something of value that you want to share, right? Like financial education. Who doesn’t need that, right? It obviously depends on what you’re selling and what network marketing model you’re in, not all are the same. Some products are more valuable than other ones. Right. But in extractive system, relationships are used in, in matriarchal systems, relationships are nurtured. They’re built on care, trust, shared values. And the mycelial lens reminds us that life itself is relationship. Each exchange strengthens the web. I’ve heard other people say it’s not a real business. Well, you can sell this business, you can pass it on to your children. It generates residual income while you sleep. Tell me again which part of that isn’t a real business. And what people usually mean when they, say that is this. It doesn’t look like the businesses I was taught to respect. And they’re right, it doesn’t. That’s the point. Underlying this objection about it not being a real business is also the belief that entrepreneurs should build from scratch, not plug into a system. And this is a problem because what I’ve seen is that entrepreneurs, solopreneurs are having to revamp and rebuild systems every couple of years when whatever they’re doing stops working. Right? Because, markets fluctuate, markets change, people’s buying behavior changes. But certain business models like the one that I’m, that I’m leveraging work for many people. It’s worked over 20 years. Right. And it’s a system that’s worked for many people over many years. Right. people from different cultures have used it with multiple six figure success, seven figure success. And what I’ve often seen is that traditional business models mimic industrial hierarchies. Right. Network marketing is like post industrial. Right. It’s fluid, it’s adaptive. Right. The, the, it’s relational, the skeleton itself is kind of like, can be used in different ways. And so the way that we’re using is more kind of like fluid and relational. And it’s a matriarchal, mycelial form of business. It’s decentralized, community driven, and it’s resilient in ways rigid corporations might not be. Another thing that I hear a lot is, oh, you need to be recruiting. You know, you’re forced to recruit or you’re like, you’re pushed to recruit. Building a sustainable business requires sustainable growth. What is different here is that growth benefits everyone in the web, not just the person at the top. Some, I’m thinking now, some network marketing businesses, you do get paid for recruiting, but in ours we do not, not all of them do that. so in this business you share the opportunity with people and the people that come in are people that are looking for the opportunity. And you share tools, you share education, you share knowledge, you share mentorship, financial and income strategies. The recruitment isn’t the product. The duplication is you are teaching people to build what you built. That’s not endless recruitment. That’s like, that’s legacy, right? You’re leaving a legacy. You’re passing down your knowledge, your mentorship, your whatever years in the business. You’re passing it down to, to someone new, someone that is looking for an opportunity. And imagine that they don’t have to pay five figures to a business coach that’s going to show that to them. Okay, so let’s get into the. The next. Objection. This is an important one because it involves women. Some people say you’re preying upon vulnerable women, right? You’re preying upon single mothers or, you know, like. Yeah, usually it’s single mothers. And this is the one I want to sit with for a second because there’s an important assumption underneath that statement. The assumption is that women, especially women who are financially stressed or under resourced, cannot make sovereign decisions for themselves. That they need to be protected from opportunity rather than given access to it. And I find that deeply patriarchal. The women and femmes and even the men in our network are not victims of the this model. They are the architects of it. Right? Their embodiment is what builds this whole thing and a 500 entry point to build a scalable inheritable business that is one of the lowest barriers to ownership that, I have ever heard of. Okay, I’m going to leave that one right there. Last one. Is this the last one? Yes, it is. Some people say it’s a cult. Okay, let’s talk about what a cult actually is. A cult isolates you from your existing relationship. It demands unquestioning loyalty to a single leader. It punishes dissent. It keeps you dependent and disempowered. Now, does that sound like what I’m describing or does that sound like the fascist system we live in? Okay, so I’m not saying, you know, whatever this. I’m also feeling like some of that sounds like, you know, corporations that control your schedule, monitor your behavior, you know, your comings and goings, requires you to perform loyalty to your boss and fires you the moment you’re no longer useful. I’m not saying that every workplace is a cult. I’m saying to look carefully at where you’re pointing that word community, shared values and genuine belonging are not cult behavior. They’re what humans are actually wired for what people are looking for. And people say that it’s a cult because they’re worried about being pressure, being pressured to conform or stay invested despite having poor results. But this is where sovereignty comes in. This is where like your own judgment, you trusting your own judgment is really important. You are in charge of your own financial wellness and you have, and you have to make decisions based on your financial realities. The beauty of network marketing, and what I see a lot of people do, is that it’s something that you can do as a side hustle until it grows big enough to where it is generating enough results. You know that it is kind of like, okay, this is, this is working, right? So you don’t, you can stay invested at that time. So you can stay invested until it generates enough results that you can leave your nine to five, for example, right? So every single one of these objections makes complete sense. And you know the, the only reference if, if the only reference point you have is a system designed to extract from you. Right? So these fears are not irrational. They are rational responses to real harm. And I just want to ask you to ask yourself, who benefits from, from you staying afraid of this? Who benefits from you, believing the only legitimate is the one they built and they promote and control. So the system talks trash about alternatives because alternatives are a threat. That’s it. And here’s the irony. Every fear people bring to network marketing comes directly from their experience with patriarchal systems. Those fears are legitimate data. They’re signs of what the old system did to you. The question, whether you’re willing to let those wounds write the story of what’s possible, or whether you’re ready to try something built differently. Right. The future, as I say, isn’t feminine. It’s nature based, it’s relational. And network marketing, done correctly, done with values, done in community, done with integrity, is the business model of the present and future. So to recap, low barrier to entry, five to six hundred dollars to go through the licensing process, right? There’s no physical product, there’s no inventory to buy ahead of time to store somewhere in a closet. You can do it remotely or you can do it in person. You can choose. It’s scalable. You, your income grows as your team grows. It’s not just based on your solo effort. The model is built for mentorship, recognition, accountability, and you build a business for yourself, but not by yourself. And now sort of where I stand, like three plus years into the business, just a little bit over three years, I almost quit. I almost didn’t do this. And I almost let the shame win. I almost let other people’s conditioning about what this was decide what was possible for me. And I’m so glad I didn’t. You know, even though I do other things, like I have multiple streams of income and other things going on and I have other offers, like, this is an integral part of what I do. I love sitting down with people and doing financial strategies. I sit see the change happen in people’s lives when they have somebody guiding them or holding their hand through implementing, a strategy or supporting them through, like, getting their credit repaired or getting out of debt, any of those things. And so if any part of this episode cracked something open for you, if something in your body said, yeah, while you were listening, I want you to pay attention to that. Because I’m building a network of women and femmes. I’m building a network of matriarchs of all genders who are done doing it alone, who want a business that is relational, that is integrity and values driven and designed to actually grow with their life instead of consume it. Right. A lot of the people that come into this space is they’re wanting to heal their own money wounds, right? Just like myself. Like, I was on my own money healing journey, and I wanted to also help other people do that while that was happening. And so if that’s you too, I want you in my coven. So the link to the application to, you know, go on an interview is in the show notes, and when you fill it out, we’ll get on a call. I will tell you the truth about what this process looks like, what it requires, what is the training and education that’s built in, and whether it’s actually a fit for your life. Thank you so much for listening all the way to the end. I will see you on the next episode.

>> Isha Vela: All right, thank you everyone. Thank you for listening to today’s episode. Remember to hit the subscribe button to get notified of new episodes dropped on the new and full moons of each month. And if you haven’t already, leave us a five star review on itunes to make sure that everyone who needs this transmission receives it. Until the next episode, I’m sending you fierce, fierce love.