6.7 | Build a Body That Can Hold the Matriarchy

> Isha Vela: Welcome to Waking Up Wealthy, the podcast for visionaries and rebels who are ready to revolutionize their relationship with money and create powerful collective ripples with the money they make. I’m your host, Isha Vela, trauma psychologist, somatic practitioner, financial professional and minimalist, bringing you practical money tools, unconventional wealth perspectives, and Aquarian era business strategies to guide you in building wealth that’s aligned, ethical and empowering. Let’s wake up to the true meaning of wealth together.

I’m going to start by reading five statements, and I want you to check in with yourself and see which one resonates. So the first question is, do you sometimes continue to eat even after you’re full? Maybe you tell yourself it tastes so good you just want to keep eating. Or, or maybe there’s leftovers that you can’t take home and you feel bad about wasting the food so you just, you know, you just down it. Or maybe you identify as a foodie and you say, well, I just love to eat, and then you just eat more than what is good for your body. Or eat beyond the point of fullness. Okay, second question. Is more than 30% of your mental real estate taken up by thoughts and feelings about how you are perceived by others? This can include, of course, your body, meaning the color of your skin, the size of your body, the shape, the weight of your body. But it can also, it’s also about age, right? Or whether you perceive yourself as pretty or not. And maybe as a result, you’re not as visible in your business or in sexual situations. You can’t turn off those voices in your head. worrying about your lover judging your body because you are judging your body. Okay, question number three. Do you sometimes obsess about whether your friends or partners or clients or even your audience, Right. Your online following, are giving. You. Giving to you as much as you’re giving to them, right? Maybe you feel like you give a lot in relationships and you’re. You identify as a giver or as a helper, and you give, you give a lot and you feel upset, maybe even angry and resentful when you perceive your friends are not reciprocal, right? When. When you don’t feel like you’re. They’re giving back at the same level as you perceive yourself invested in the relationship. Okay, question number four. Do you have a hard time slowing down? Is it challenging for you to not work or to rest? Let’s say you’re not working, but you find your thoughts are drifting to tasks you want to do? maybe you sometimes feel anxiety or difficulty Concentrating when you’re resting or you’re being still and you’re checking your phone several times to make sure you didn’t miss any notifications. And you keep checking even though there are no new notifications. Okay, last questions. Do you feel like there’s never enough money? And when I ask that question, I want to make an important distinction. Your basic needs must be met. Because of course, if your basic needs are not met, there is indeed not enough. But let’s say your basic needs are met and you continue to have this nagging worry that it’s dwindling down, that it’s going to disappear, that the bottom is going to drop out, that you’re going to end up on the street. Right? That kind of extreme thinking. And what I want to say about all of these questions, these are all examples of where lack or not enoughness shows up in your life. And it is absolutely like not reality. It’s absolute. And I want to share a recent experience about how it showed up for me, which is why I wanted to share this in a podcast. because it’s still like, even through all the work that I’ve done, it can sneak in because it’s, it is. and I will explain later, you know, part of our, part of the, bigger operating system that we’re in. So recently I had this experience of receiving an email with a bunch of free and incredible offers from different coaches. And so the thing was that you, you clicked on a link, there’s like several links inside the, the email and each link led to a different sales, page and funnel and a beautiful landing page with an incredible and very valuable offer about growing your coaching business and all that kind of stuff. And my first reaction, like, maybe my first reaction was like, oh, this is cool. And like immediately afterwards what came up for me was this like inadequacy around my own branding, what I’ve created thus far and the systems I’ve developed over the, like the back end funnels and systems I’ve developed over the past years. And I was totally in comparisonitis. I was such a joy sucker. Like, don’t do it. If you do it, don’t stay there very long. Which, thank goodness I, I did not. yeah, it is a joy killer and an authenticity sucker. And of course, like, this experience of like, what I, I recognize that it wasn’t, it was me not feeling like enough. It was me feeling like I have to look like those people in order to be worthy, valuable, taken seriously. Right? Like my just isn’t Enough, to. To be. To be respectable. right. And what I have learned. I’m going to share another story with you very soon, but this is not personal to me. This is not personal to me. It’s systemic. And I’m going to talk today about six matriarchal power hacks. They are essentially practices that I have that I practice almost on a daily basis. And yes, like, even when you practice it on a daily basis, like these not enoughness things can sneak in, but you have. Then you can catch it. And you have the practice to continue dismantling the patriarchy from the inside. Because we hold systems inside of our bodies, right? When I talk about decolonization or colonization, I’m of course talking about the, you know, the actual colonization of, like, the political colonization. But I’m also talking about, when I talk about it from a somatic perspective, I’m talking about the colonization that happens. You know, as soon as we’re born, we’re born into these systems, right? And we don’t really have a choice about whether we want to absorb them or not. We absorb them because this is the. It’s the air we breathe, the water we drink. and we grow up in families who, because they have absorbed the system, the system gets transferred through their parenting practices, right? And that’s how we absorb the patriarchy. M. So story time. I. I was in my four year, somatic, certification program. And, over those four years, like, I did a lot of dismantling work and I worked through just. I feel like almost like every. Every angle you could, like you could come at things through the. Through interpersonal relationships, right? It really was about working through developmental trauma. some of these ways that parenting didn’t meet us, these very young wounds, right? Lots of inner child work. And once I finished the program, I felt really like I had like. I know this sounds kind of silly to say it now, but I felt like I had, like, cleaned the vessel. Like, I really felt like I was like, I did like a mega cleaning from the inside out. That doesn’t mean that I was done by no means, but I felt like, wow. I. Like, I got to a place where I felt free. I really felt free, even though there were aspects of my life that were not free. I was still married. I was still very much caught up in a lot of bullshit. But there was a sense of freedom that I had achieved and I was really, like, happy with that. And I had also. Part of the freedom was having access to the ancestors. I was able to through the process of healing, trauma access, like connection to spirit that I hadn’t had before. And when I graduated and I began to like be in my life in an everyday way, I was noticing that my brain was doing things like it was still running these old stories and I was observing them and I was like, wow, I’m noticing like my brain is still running the programs that my body no longer believes because through the trauma healing, I had released them from my body, but my brain was still running the tape, right? It was still like the record was still playing. And and so I was like, oh, that’s interesting. And I started to observe my thoughts and started to kind of categorize them. All the insecurities, all the old stories, the narratives. And I put them into categories, right? And then when I went to my private practice and I sat with clients and I worked with clients, I noticed that all the complaints that they would bring in, right. All of the pain and the suffering, I could, like, if you drill down deep enough, you could put them in one of these six categories. And I was like, if you. Isn’t that fascinating? Hey, real quick before we get back to the episode. You keep saying you want an indigenous matriarchy now, and I believe you. But wanting it and building it are two different things. And the gap between them is usually the absence of a system. So I built one. Sovereign wealth is a free blueprint for matriarchal finance and intentional community inspired and guided by indigenous wisdom. We’re talking financial councils, rotating saving circles, barter economies, land based abundance, seasonal money ceremonies and intergenerational wealth transfer. All of it organized into actual steps you can start taking right now. This isn’t new. This is a remembering. Our ancestors built wealth without banks, without Wall street, without any of their systems. And we can do it again with a modern twist. It costs nothing because the return to what’s sacred doesn’t belong behind a paywall. Download sovereign wealth using the link in the show notes and if you’re ready to take that fire into your business, I have something for you there too. Rooted to Rise is a step by step guide to organizing your business finances. So your soul led work becomes a matriarchal money machine. 10 steps, nervous system check ins. Built in a foundation for six figure scalability that doesn’t require you to abandon your body to get there. Two guides, one vision. Both free. Download sovereign wealth and root it to rise using the links in the show notes and let’s build. Okay, that’s the conversation and that’s when I started to clue in that none of this was personal to any of us and that it was systemic. And so one day, once I came up with the six categories, I decided or I made a sort of a, like a challenge for myself. Like, what if I live the rest of my life like not believing these things? Like, how would I behave if I stopped believing this? So I’ll share the six categories. but one of the, one of the ones that’s very, very important to me, is the one around not enough. Right? and I’ll get into that in a second. What I want to say is that, you know, obviously we know that patriarchy is the operating system that’s become like revealed to us, even more than ever before, right? Like we, we knew it, but now it’s like everybody’s talking about it. And this is Patriarchy is essentially an algorithm of disempowerment. Not just for women or femmes, it’s also an algorithm of disempowerment for men. and basically what it creates is controllable agents, right? Controllable agents of the Matrix. And what I, what I want to challenge you is to really understand how the system operates so that you can hack it and become sovereign and therefore ungovernable. Right? this is really the, this is really the battle that we’re, the battle we’re in is a spiritual one, right? And yeah, so the, and the battle starts in the brain, right? In our beliefs, and obviously in our bodies, right? It’s really about our, our sovereignty in, in all, all the ways, right? So our entire culture, our our operating system is constructed around making women and, and making men in some ways. But I really want to focus on, focus on women. Making women feel like they’re not enough, right? We’re not good enough, we’re not thin enough, we’re not strong enough, we’re not nice enough, we’re not smart enough, we’re not self sacrificial enough. And you know, you know, one of the recent confirmations is of beauty norms, right? We know that beauty norms are rooted in white supremacy. They’re rooted in, in pedophilia and creating a standard no woman was ever meant to meet, right? These, we see these images and these are all doctored images. the skin is never, never as smooth as it looks in the magazine covers because it’s been completely airbrushed. That person doesn’t even exist, right? And these standards for women operate through this double bind, right? You’re simultaneously not enough and too Much so that perfection remains permanently out of reach. And the striving to reach that level of perfection never stops. And this is not accidental, of course. This is self doubt. And lack is a billion dollar industry. Right? Your insecurity is the engine that fuels the economy and it makes us continuously hustle for our worth. We are shape shifting to belong and we’re appeasing to be loved. We twist ourselves into pretzels to be acceptable and it keeps us energetically atrophied. It keeps us unable to truly receive from others, but also receive from our own genius. And we’re definitely not taking up the space that we’ve been granted at birth. Right. By the universe. And of course this got passed down from your ancestors who experienced actual scarcity. They experienced loss and hardship, but they were also very much m in this programming without the consciousness that we have now. Right. And you know, it’s not important to know the specific stories that your ancestors went through. but these, these stories do live in our nervous systems, in our, in our cellular data. Like a ghost, like a whisper, right? Like, for example, I grew up in Puerto Rico with two fridges. Two fridges. I never experienced food insecurity in my life. But nevertheless, we m over ate. Like the food was going to run out. Like my mother, not so much, but like my father and I definitely, we were like, the food’s going to run out. And in the school cafeteria, I was the kid at the table asking other kids if they were going to finish their food because I was like, we can’t let it go to waste. It wasn’t a conscious thought, it was just what I did. And I always ordered too much food at the restaurants and ate all of it because I was feeling like there’s not enough. There’s just this hole that I need to, to plug. Right. Or to fill. And the same imprints that show up in our, relationship with food, in our relationship with our bodies, show up in our partnerships, romantic friendships, and in our relationship with money, in our relationship to resources in general. And I became a sovereign wealth strategist because I wanted to shift from, from growing up in a family where we had enough, but acted like the bottom was going to run out at any moment. To living from sufficiency and abundance, it really became like my way of living. And in rewiring my relationship with sufficiency or like moving from lack to sufficiency, I had to trust that there was always enough. I had to find this place in me where I was always abundant, regardless of the number in my bank account, I had to shift out of, you know, this avoidance and neglect of money into responsible stewardship and shifting out of the shame of wanting more. Because my vision for what I wanted to create in the world was big and it was going to require big money. Right? And that’s, that’s what bodies do, right? They just gather info for, for survival across generations in an attempt to prepare for present day survival. And it’s meant to be adaptive, but it’s not adaptive to the here and now. In fact, because we are in a spiritual war. We are in a, in a, I don’t really like using the word war, but we’re in, in a, in a process of spiritual evolution. And where we’re going as a collective, right, if we’re going to create the timeline, we need to shift into sufficiency and become much more resourceful and less dependent. And you can’t thrive in scarcity. It’s just not possible. Because even people who have tons of money, when they are in lack or where they’re in embodied lack, they’re, they don’t experience themselves as striving, they’re not satisfied, they’re not happy. it’s miserable. So you can’t arrive at a destination of peace and prosperity if fear and survival is the fuel that’s driving the bus. Right. and when, when we hold that seed of not enoughness in our body, in our core, or when it’s over coupled with our identity or who we are, we see everything through that distorted or mediated lens, right? It says distorted lens or a mediated reality. Think of it like a broken mirror. Like we’re. Or no, a window or no, let’s say it’s a mirror, right? We’re looking at a broken mirror. And when we, we think that the, that the cracked image we’re looking at is reality, but in reality we’re whole. We see ourselves in distortion, but. And we experience our, our money and our resources in distortion as well. But the reality is that we are whole. We are very powerful. Our true reality is limitless powers or limitless power. And we have to identify the places where we disempower ourselves and extinguish those in our, in our mind, in our brain, in our thinking. Okay, so I’m going to pause here for a moment and I want you to want to take a pause because I want you to imagine what the world would look like or what would happen if all of us stopped believing. Basically, like the, the disempowering thoughts or the thoughts of not being enough, not having enough. What would happen if we liberated ourselves from the collective brainwashing? yeah, many, many industries that now thrive would absolutely collapse and go out, go out of business. Right. One of them being the weight loss industry, without a doubt. also families would fall apart. They would fall apart because women would no longer be dependent on men. Let’s talk about heterosexual relationships for a moment. they wouldn’t be dependent on men for belonging, worthiness, security. Right. We would be safer within ourselves and we would belong to ourselves and perhaps each other in ways that were healthier. So maybe families would fall apart, but what would come together would be something much, much healthier than the, the horrible. I wrote about this yesterday in a post. Like the. Basically the colonial system that is marriage and romantic partnership. Yeah. So, so maybe don’t close your eyes if you’re walking as you’re listening to this, but just imagine this, this is what it could look like. We go from distrust and hoarding to trusting that there’s enough and sharing generously from that place of sufficiency. We would go from competition with one another to collaboration and cooperation because there’s enough for everyone. Right. And we, we are stronger together. We would go from fear based perception of scarcity to a relaxed perception of plenty. We would go from overwork and hustle to feeling rested and resourced. We would go from underpricing and undermining ourselves and our leadership to self value and really understanding what we bring to the table. We would go from having the identity of a consumer to having one of creator. We would go from the fear of risk and failure and getting it wrong to feeling the safety to take risks to yeah, feeling the safety to make mistakes and take big leaps. And we would definitely go from controlling and extracting natural resources to protecting them and being mindful of how we use them. So of course this is not about personal growth. It’s, it’s about collective evolution. It’s about reclaiming wealth and wholeness as your birthright, as the truth of who you are. And from there transforming the world we live in. Because you know, just the same way as like, you know, a liberated body in a system designed to control and disempower like the. That is the ultimate hack, right? That just destroys the system. If we are whole and we, if we hold wholeness in our bodies like there’s nothing you, you’re not governable, you can’t control, you can’t be controlled. It is absolutely revolutionary to exist in sufficiency and settledness within Your own body. It’s revolutionary to live in alignment with abundance, to experience peace with the resources you have. And it’s radical to move through the world holding your worthiness. Yeah. And so today in this episode, I want to support you in rewiring your nervous system for sufficiency. Your body. And I’m going to share with you the six, let’s say the six matriarchal power hacks. I call them livets. It’s the acronym I use to remember them. and this is the collective shadow of patriarchy. This is the how we are, systematically disempowered around our identities, ourselves. But it can be applied to anything in your life. Right. It keeps us in a low vibration of fear and just insecurity. So the livids are lack. I is for isolation, V is for victimhood. I is for imposter, D is for doubt, and S is for shame. Livids and the embodiment practices. I’m, I’m going to share with you. Align the mind with the body so that you can release the emotional charge. So this is an important piece, and I’ve talked about this in other episodes. If you can observe and be with the emotions and sensations that are happening in your body, or if you can observe what is happening in your brain without believing it, right. You can’t, you can’t get caught up in the story. Let’s say you’re have like, like my example. I was having this feeling of insecurity. Like, oh my God, my landing pages look like. I don’t have that level of sophistication. Oh my God, What I’ve had, what have I built in the last six years? I’ve been like, I’ve not been doing enough. This is, Right. If I, if I can observe that and not believe it, then I can release the charge. Right. if I can observe it and say, oh, that is not enoughness, I can choose differently. I can say, actually, that’s the story of not enoughness. What is actually true. Right. So you unhook the charge from whatever, whatever triggered it. Right. And yeah, so that’s what I want. That’s, that’s a practice really like allowing yourself to uncouple the story from the state in your body. So let’s, let’s go with the first one. L is for lack, right? Scarcity. This is where your nervous system is in fight or flight mode. This is where your brain is saying, there’s never enough, there’s never enough money, there’s never enough time. There’s never enough love, there’s never enough opportunities or resources or I have to hold on to money or it’ll go away. Right? In your brain or in your body, you have a story that resources are always limited. Right? Right. maybe you’re making fear based, financial decisions. Maybe you’re this leads to anxiety around how you use your energy, how you invest your energy, invest your money. Right? So I want you to think of this as a general thing, but we can talk about the money piece specifically. and it is the core wound of unworthiness. The thing about this is that it is both personal and systemic because again, like the way we are parented, if our parents are agents of the matrix, like un unwitting, agents of the matrix, they’re going to transfer that, those systemic lies, that systemic distortion, they’re going to transfer that through the parenting. That’s why it feels so personal, but it’s actually systemic. And once you understand that, you can release that from your personal story that you tell yourself about you. and the core wound of unworthiness drives you to be more than what you are because you couldn’t possibly be loved as you are, right? It’s, it’s like you couldn’t possibly be loved for being, I don’t know, a gray haired woman, who has like cellulite or, or saggy breasts, right? Whatever it is, you could, you couldn’t possibly be loved because that is not this ideal that you have, right? Or the ideal that has been presented to you. And this may come from, you know, you may have been raised in a critical family and then you sort of internalize this inner critic and maybe this is part of you that like gets off on working hard and you wrap egoic pride around hustle and extraction, but you know, feel victimized and resentful at the same time. So yeah, it’s, it’s a complicated thing. I could tell you stories about this, but I, I don’t feel like that’s necessary right now. I feel like I think you get it. I want to go right into the practice because this is really the meat of the, of the of the episode today. And whenever you find yourself in some sort of a lack, in some sort of like not enough, I want you to practice sufficiency, right? I want you to focus on what’s working in your life. Where are you already supported? Maybe you don’t have money in the bank, but you are incredibly supported in relationships. maybe you have a loving partner. Maybe you have Access to a beautiful community garden, right? I want you to look at what is available to you, right? I want you to recognize the abundance that is available. focus on what you have, celebrate what you have, and fill up your system, right? Like actually, like, let yourself breathe it in and take it in so you can fill up from that place and actually have a experience of abundance or sufficiency in your body. And abundance when you experience it in your body. For, let’s say, I don’t want to use abundance and sufficiency. Like, like they’re the same thing. They’re not exactly the same thing. I really feel like sufficiency is this feeling of enough. Like, oh, yeah, I do have enough. It feels like there are places where I feel lacking, but wow, look at how much I have. And then abundance flows from that place. Okay, so practicing sufficiency is the first matriarchal power hack, the second livid or the. The basically, the. The disempowering matrix or programming is isolation. And this is where we believe in our separateness. We believe in that broken mirror, in that cracked aspect of ourselves. We don’t feel whole. we feel separated from our wholeness, from divinity, from God, from the divine. But maybe it is even separation from people or groups of people. This is where we make these things personal about ourselves, right? Like, oh, this feeling of, I don’t feel like enough. And this is like, everybody else is like, they’re whole. but I’m not, right? We make ourselves kind of unique and different. And this is where our nervous system is like, this is kind of a collapse response. Let’s say you have a narrative like, oh, ah, you know, other people can get rich, but not, not me, right? Or I’m the only one going through this. Everybody else is like, they’re doing great, but not me. and it is this belief that. That happiness, joy, or abundance or whatever you desire is available only to a select few. Indeed, our society shows us that is. It is available only for a select few. So that’s kind of mirrored in our. In this created manufactured reality. And, underneath that belief is a belief of not belonging, of being on the outside looking in. And this is a really, really big one for me because I grew up feeling different in my culture. I was raised German in a Puerto Rican culture, in a colonial culture. And, even though I was absorbing colonialism, there were aspects of me where I was definitely decolonial, where I wasn’t part of that matrix. And so it made me feel very, very different. And it often made me feel like I don’t get to have or be like the others. And this can show up with our money too, right? We can look at other people and say, like, oh, she gets to have that, or they get to have that, but we can’t because we are outsiders, because we’ve made ourselves an exception. Right? yeah. So, and underneath that, there can be, like, this underlying feeling of resignation or giving up. And when this feeling of not belonging combines with the desire for money or wealth, that turns into jealousy. Right? Jealousy is the intense desire for something combined with the belief that you won’t get it. And let’s see, what did I want to say about that? Like, yeah, when you’re, like, in isolation, for example, another way that it shows up, your. You maybe you think your money situation is worse than other people’s. Maybe you have debt, you’ve made past mistakes, you’re beating yourself up. Right? We make ourselves the exception, and it keeps them from sharing our stories and saying, like, hey, this happened, because usually when we do share our stories, somebody else, it resonates with somebody else. And I think of this in a joking way as a form of reverse narcissism, where you make yourself, like, instead of making yourself better than other people, you make yourself worse. Right? You’ve lowered yourself in relationship to other people. yeah. So what. How do we. How do we overcome? Or what is the. The second matriarchal power hack? It’s a practice of connection. So this is where we invite intimacy with other people. We share our story, we share our vulnerability, and we. We recognize that other people, that this is a collective thing, that we’re like, oh, yeah, you’ve experienced this too. As horrible as I thought this was, I know other people that are going through this. This is universal. I can relate. Right? And this practice of connection can be also as simple as going into nature, connecting with animals, recognizing how you belong to the bigger universal matrix of, like, earth or wholeness, how you’re connected to the tapestry of life. And, recently, what was it, two days ago, I went to the. These waterfalls nearby, like, an hour away from where I live. And it was like, oh, my God, I never want to leave here. Like, I could just feel my wholeness. I could just feel, like, how I’m connected to everything. And. And I told my oldest child, I was like, I feel like I wasn’t designed for the modern world. Like, this is what I was designed for. I was just designed to sit in a waterfall and just be here. And meditate or do something like that or just feel like the energy. but it was really, like. It was a great reminder for me of just like, yes, this is like this. The power of this waterfall. The power. That power lives in me as well. Right. It was a reminder. And all of these practices are just reminders. And practice is what, what helps you become a m. Matriarch, right? Well, it helps you build the matriarchy within you. All right, so victimhood. This is the third power hack. so first victimhood. Well, it’s not the first. Not the third power hack. It’s the. It’s the. The power killer or the blocker to power. So victimhood is a huge one. this is really, really big because we are, as we can see, actually being victimized by the patriarchy. There is, so many women killed when they try to leave relationships that are abusive. Right. children are being hurt and killed. And so there’s definitely a real, very real threat of victimhood. And it also shows up as collapsed authorship. and this is essentially like the. The system we exist in, right? This, this matrix is like, it wants us to feel or wants us to be in a collapsed state. this is the place where we say, like, I’m not good with money or I’ll never get out of debt. yeah. And underneath the, like, this broke mentality a lot of people talk about is that deep state of victimhood and powerlessness. And it’s also. It keeps you really from exercising your own agency. And I feel like this one is really, really huge for, people raised as female. The evolution from damsel to mother to mage is like the most pivotal internal work you will do with your own identity, with your relationship with money. Like, it is absolutely huge when you step out of wanting to be rescued and you step into the role of being your own rescuer and being a provider to yourself, your entire nervous system will have to undergo like a 180 shift. Plus, it puts your manifestation on a turbo timeline. Turbo timeline. Because you are. You are in control, right? yeah. And when I, When I separated from my. From my ex husband, it became really clear to me how deeply victimhood was living in my cellular data. Right. I had experienced, you know, victimhood was very much part of my identity because of how I grew up within a colonial system, but also what I experienced in my family and being a woman in patriarchal systems. And, yeah, I, I really had to, like, my practice was like, during that time of, like, separating and feeling this narrative run through my Brain. I had to put my hand on my solar plexus and say out loud, I am not a victim. I am not a victim. And I had to remind myself over and over again that I had choice and agency in every single moment of my life and that I had to act on that agency. And the agency was responsibility over my choices in a good way, because I had experienced responsibility. And a lot of us do experience responsibility like a burden. Like you have to be responsible. And it also, what it often means is that you have to be an agent of the state. And so this is a totally different type of responsibility. It’s the responsibility of, of for your own energy, right. For your own, thought processes, for your behavior, for your choices. And yeah, emotion. Responsibility for your emotions, for your regulation. And you know, money is, is such a beautiful amplifier because it will shine a light into every place you are not exercising your authority. And it’ll, it’ll show you like, where you need to wake the up. It really, you know, it’s a sign to put your big girl pants on. And I know how seductive and comfortable it is to be a victim. It’s almost like the state of like rest of, like, well, I don’t have to do anything here. It’s really safe. but it also betrays the immense power and freedom you actually possess right now. Yeah. So enough with victimhood and with damseling and financial fawning and keeping your heads in the sand waiting for something to happen. So the practice, the, the matriarchal power hack to victimhood is deciding things, making a mark, having an impact, exercising your authorship. it can mean getting an education about finances. Like saying like, enough is enough. I’m going to get educated. I’m going to learn more. You know, sometimes life and happens, sometimes things just happen that are really, really sucky. And there are so many circumstances that are out of your control. And as someone who’s had lots of stuff happen to me, right. Like, yes, there were choices that I made, but a lot of stuff just happened. My ability to access power or to access decision making completely m shifted. Right. Like where I intentionally chose how to respond. Like, it just gave me just a whole different perspective. This is like where we exercise our will, our, personal will or our intention. Free will, right. This is, we have free will. And when we talk about the bigger systems, free will is the biggest, biggest, biggest piece. So like when I talk about livids, the V and livids is like extra big. it’s about taking back power and centralizing power Back within the self versus outside of the self. let’s see, What else did I want to say about that? Yeah, and you know, one of the things that I’ve recognized about victimhood, like shifting out of victimhood often requires this mobilization of energy. Like shifting from this like, collapse state. You have to light a fire under that collapse state. Right. And so when I, when we talk about the nervous system or the internal operating system, we often have to, tapping into that anger and rage and desire, that healthy fight response so that you can direct that collapsed victimhood energy towards the thing that you want to create. Right. When. When you hear about people who have built six multi, six and maybe seven figure businesses, at some point they got so sick of their circumstances that it awakened a fire inside of them and they decided, and I hope that what is happening right now in the world and seeing things for what they really are is awakening a fire and being like, oh, oh my God, we have been asleep. Like, I have been asleep. We’re gonna do this now. Like, I’m done believing the. Let’s go. Okay. And it’s really important that we keep up with these practices because again, like I was sharing earlier at the beginning of the podcast, this not enoughness snuck up on me because I hadn’t been intentionally practicing the sufficiency, the abundance, the, the, oh my God, look where I’m so resources resourced. I do wake up feeling that way, but I wasn’t like, on point that day. I was feeling sick, so I was like a little off my game. Right. So that’s, unfortunately how our meat suits work. You have to keep up with the practices because again, we live inside of these systems. We’re constantly receiving the message that we’re not enough, that we are victims and that we are this, we are that. And so the practice is constant as well. Okay. All right, so let’s talk about the fourth blocker to power, or, you know, patriarchal power. systems is the imposter. Right? A lot of people talk about imposter syndrome. This is where you maybe feel like you don’t deserve wealth, you feel like a fraud, you feel, feel like, you feel inauthentic or you’re hiding your authenticity. This is a nervous system freeze and fawn response, if you want to put it in that category. But especially if you know this feeling that you’re imposter, especially if you are a woman of color, a woman of culture, that is a byproduct of whiteness and patriarchy. It’s not A syndrome. M. Right. It’s not personal to you. We talk about it individually because everybody experiences it in a slightly different way, but it is actually a collective experience, and we feel inadequate because maleness and whiteness are the standards, and we know we don’t fit it. It’s not. It’s not something we can do. So we always try to fit in. We try to kind of hit that standard, but it’s an impossible standard. And maybe in that, in the place of feeling like an imposter, we may say things that we think people want to hear. We may show up in ways we think people expect us to. it makes us invisible, which feels safe, because our true selves are not really valued fully. Right. we have a fear of criticism. And, yeah, we feel like our. Our real selves are not enough. It kind of goes back to the not enoughness again. And then we turn to overwork. We burn out to prove how deserving we are. Right? So it’s really. It’s not. It’s not a standard. And again, it’s always going back to the authenticity. And for me, the practice with this, the imposter syndrome, is expressing your unique truth and humanity. This has been really, really huge for me. It’s been transformative. So we often feel like, because our. The systems that we live in are so dehumanizing, we feel like if we bring the. The vulnerability of our humanity or the truth of our humanity, it is unwanted. It is unacceptable. This is what produces the imposter feeling. But when you express your truth and your heart, regardless of what it is, it is a practice that anchors you back into your own reality at the same time as you give it value. Right? Like, voicing something gives it value. Sharing it with other people gives it value. what did I share recently that felt really big? Yeah, like, even sharing, like, in the last podcast episode, I shared about this moment where I, like, I totally had this, like, Covid breakdown where I felt the loss of, like, having had to set aside my inner artist for. For becoming a functional human in society. Right. And that just felt like such a tragic loss. And I was just crying and crying and crying. And that felt like I needed to honor that part of my humanity. And sharing the truth on the podcast was a way that I was like, okay, so here’s where I break through this. This feeling of. Of or this. This demand that I show up as a leader in a certain way, and I share my truth and I share my humanity, and thereby I, like, I have more connection, right? Like, people can relate to what I’m sharing. And I don’t feel like I have to hide any part of myself because all of me is acceptable. Right? So part of healing the imposter is practicing that truth, expressing your unique truth and humanity so that you accept yourself, accept your right, the. The wholeness of who you are. You don’t have to hide anything. your, Your realness magnetizes people. It magnetizes money because there’s no one else on this planet that exudes your particular medicine or that has your story. the coach I’m working with now talks about your story is your intellectual property, right? Like, everything that made you who you are is your intellectual property. And so you don’t need to wear a mask, of leadership or of love. You know, you can. People are like, so over being manipulated and sold to. People are so, like, the age of the influencer is over. We just want, we just want the realness. Like, we just want to cut through the. And get really real. And so this is really. We are in this. We are breaking through the imposter right now. Okay, so that’s the, that’s the next power hack, the matriarchal power hack. The. The fifth. The fifth matrixy kind of power disruptor is doubt, right? This is where you question your inner reality. And this is when we talk about it in nervous system terms. This is freeze and fawn. This is like, I don’t know if I can do it. I don’t know if I can charge that amount of money because people won’t pay. this is not the same as the natural fear and doubt that comes from dealing with just the uncertainty of life. It come. It’s the doubt that comes from questioning your own reality, your own inner wisdom, your inner source. And as a sensitive person, as a deep feeler, you were probably raised in family systems that, and also. And obviously in the bigger patriarchal system that was designed to numb your senses, turn off your magic. you were gas lit, and asked probably to deny your own internal experiences, especially your emotions or what you were feeling in your body or what this, like, this intuition, right? This is how we disconnect from our intuition and our wisdom and, and it also disconnects us from the unseen realms of, like, energy and manifestation. and this is where, you know, we may follow formulas for our business instead of honoring our unique path. we don’t put our. The. That, that thing we cannot do. I think we, you know, I spoke to someone in another podcast, Ren Ferriss who talked about the thing you cannot do, you cannot not do? this is like, this is your sacred medicine. And we often, like, we shy away from it because it’s like, oh my God, can I actually bring that? This is the kind of doubt that I’m talking about. Right. and if you’re successful, maybe you doubt that, you can keep it up. You tell yourself it’s a fluke, it’s going to disappear. You don’t trust yourself to hold it. You don’t trust your stewardship. Whether it’s because your nervous system doesn’t have the experience of holding more money or it’s pushing away from what’s unfamiliar or because you’re disconnected from how powerful you actually are, you know? yeah. And one thing that I’ve seen come up with people, I’ve seen this come up with myself as well, is that I’ll get an intuitive hit about a direction to take in my business. or you’ll have a download about an offer that you feel like the ancestors are wanting you to put out there. And then the fear comes up and say, oh my God, I don’t think that I can actually do. Those are some big shoes to fill. Like, oh my God. Right. And we kind of step back. yeah. And this is when, when our nervous system experiences fear, that’s when you get into thought looping. The anxiety, the self doubt, the confusion. You’re basically in a free state and not able to take action. And self doubt is the reason why we avoid financial discussions. We’re not sure of ourselves. We don’t feel confident, we don’t feel, secure in our investment decisions. And it’s a huge reason why we defer to other people for financial decision making. We asked our dad or grandpa, who’s so loaded with scarcity, stories of, of his generation and his matrixy, engagement or attachment, and that we end up getting guidance that doesn’t serve us or fit the economic climate we’re living in or what we’re trying to create. yeah. And so the, the power hack, the matriarchal power hack for enough for. Sorry for self doubt is practice radically trusting your intuition, even if it’s crazy, even if it’s scary, like just saying yes to that. Right. I talked about yes in the previous episode because self doubt is so rooted in disconnection from source within yourself. The antidote is to radically believe every impulse you have. Right. Feeling and sensing in your emotional body, getting curious about what’s there, starting with your emotions. Right. A lot of Times we end up rationalizing our emotions and bypassing them. So enough with the rationalization. Do you feel angry? Let yourself be angry. Do you feel sad? Let yourself cry? Follow the impulse of your impulses, right? Follow the impulse of your impulse. Follow the impulse of your intuitive hits, right? And see where the impulse impulses take you. Right? Follow what feels right and aligned. So this sounds so simple, but this is like, this is a huge game changer in and people developing a business that feels like soul led. Because the soul will guide you if you have to listen to the yes in your soul and follow that, body is source and it will never lead you astray. The mind, forget it. It’s not reliable. You have to follow your own way, your own formula, your own path and, and follow through on an idea even though it’s never been done before. Right? That’s how anything innovative is ever created. So the last, the last blocker, let’s call it, or the disempowerment patriarchal, matrix is shame and guilt. This is the S of livids. So this is a nervous system free state. And this is where you, have this feeling like if I experience success, then somebody else is losing. We have like a zero sum game that also is tied into enoughness. I have to sacrifice to be wealthy. money shame is really, really huge. And obviously shame of who we are is huge as well. So, this is self and this is financial at the same time. Obviously goes across all different domains. But what’s underneath the shame is having done it wrong. And because our, because patriarchal systems are designed for us to be not enough and too much, we’re always wrong. We’re always wrong. No matter how hard we try, we’re always not going to hit the mark. Right? And so this, this creates this, this perpetual sense of shame. And it’s like we’re, we’re being gaslit. Like, oh, but you should know better, but we’re not taught to know better. let’s see. How do I want to explain this? I feel like it’s this place where we think we’re supposed to know, but we don’t know because we haven’t been taught it right. Like just financial education, for example. We’re ashamed of our freeze responses around money, but we haven’t been given the opportunity to really steward it properly. we’ve been ridiculous, ridiculed and humiliated for not knowing even though we haven’t been given equal access to knowledge and resources. How effed up is that? And then in turn we like, we turn it back on to ourselves. We don’t take risks with investing because we don’t want to make mistakes. We hide our money struggles because we fear others will think less of us, will lose respect or we’ll lose identity or face judgment and criticism. Right. And we so want to get it right. But getting it right is such a, like a, it’s such a sham. It’s a complete, complete sham. We judge ourselves. We have this internal critic. And yeah, we’re, we’re judging other people for their financial choices as well. Right. So that’s the shame piece and then there’s the guilt piece about what you have. and this is where I see a lot of people invested in the zero sum game where also rooted in scarcity, rooted in competition, and you believe the resources are limited is so that if you have, you’re taking, taking it from someone else. And that’s absolutely right. We, we know that there is wealth hoarding going on and if we just distributed it properly, everybody would have enough. Right? yeah. And feeling that money guilt can drive you into a pattern of feeling like you have to make sacrifices or atone or apologize for your abundance. And I’m not about that. Okay. I’ve worked with a lot of people who are privileged, and I believe you have to celebrate your privilege to actually be able, you have to like, own the privilege before you’re actually able to use it properly. and what I want to say about shame is very, very important. Shame is a totally, learned experience. There is remorse, which is different from shame. Remorse is when you’ve done actually something wrong and you’re like, wow, I shouldn’t have done that. Right. That’s a real, that’s a real human experience. But the shame of like, bringing your medicine and your magic and from moving towards your desires and saying yes to yourself, like, don’t try to heal that stuff. Like the, like this. Don’t try to heal shame. If you allow yourself to feel the shame without believing that you are shameful and terrible, that’s going to be the uncoupling that you need. Okay. These guilt and shame, like I said, guilt is a joy killer. shame makes you wrong. And this comes from original sin. This is like religious right, patriarchal. Both are rooted in religious conditioning around limiting pleasure and freedom. So enough with the shame and guilt. It is so last century. Instead, the, the sixth matriarchal power hack is to practice radical approval. And I love this one so much. This is, for me, the antidote to shame is making Yourself, Right? For, like, looking at how even the most destructive parts of you and your life are trying to fulfill a need or trying to protect you. Right? I want you to think of, like, the place in you that. That is disorganized with money and is chaotic with money and doesn’t have an overview of your finances. There’s a part of you that benefits from that. There’s a part of you that maybe you don’t want the responsibility. Maybe it feels like the responsibility is so big. How, huh? What an indeed ingenious strategy. By keeping it so chaotic, you don’t have oversight, and that doesn’t. That doesn’t require your leadership. Isn’t that ingenious? Right? I don’t say it’s healthy, but it is ingenious nonetheless. Right? And once you can see the. What you’re getting out of it, once you approve of it, it’s like, oh, my God, I’m so clever that by running chaos in my life, I’m actually keeping myself out of responsibility and I get to be lazy and comfortable. Isn’t that amazing? Right? yeah. And so this is like, when. When you can see it for what it is and how it functions, you have more compassion for the function it serves, right? Where we’re aware of how we’re trying to protect ourselves, and we can meet those places differently and make different choices, right? So lack isolation, victimhood, imposter, doubt, shame. They are universal. They are patriarchal. They are not personal. Everyone grapples with all of these. This is the collective shadow of patriarchy. This is the brainwashing. This is the colonial program. these are the roots that we’re digging up as we move toward a more vibrant and abundant collective consciousness. And the way we shape shift them is through practice aligning the mind with the body and moving the emotional charge. The sensations you feel in your body, for example, when shame comes up, right? We often feel heat in our bodies, right? This is kind of like your body is washing out the shame. It’s, it’s like vomiting the shame. That heat is a sign that it’s actually working, right? What you don’t want to believe is the thoughts around shame. So sensations are there to drive your behavior, right? The programming is often in. Is the mind, but it’s often in the sensations. And these are coupled, if you can, right? Now that you’ve listened to this podcast, you can be like, oh, yeah, you can clock that. You can track it. Like, this is bullshit. This is a bullshit story, right? And the next time you feel shame in your body, you don’t have to believe it. And by uncoupling that, you. You basically, like, get rid of it. You’re done with it. And yeah, if you can be with the sensation of shame as an observer of it and move the charge of your emotional energy without getting caught up in the story, you will unhook the charge from whatever money situation or like, whatever sensation is, is whatever experience is creating the sensation of shame. Right? And this, what this practice allows you to do is to feel neutral and capacitated versus anxious and overwhelmed when dealing with whatever situation, you’re dealing with that is producing the shame. So, yeah, that was a long one. But this is really an invitation for you to code your system with new stories. These are six matriarchal power hacks. These are power practices and that actually help your body support matriarchal systems. These are practices that make you absolutely ungovernable inside patriarchy. Thank you for listening to today’s episode. Remember to hit the subscribe button to get notified of new episodes dropping on the new and full moons of each month. 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