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3.18 | Permission to Sell Results You Don't (YET) Have

Welcome to Devotional Anarchy, a podcast about intimate embodied leadership that is radically human, honest AF and thereby inherently disruptive to systems of disempowerment and disconnection. I am Isha Vela, trauma psychologist certified somatic intimacy Alchemist, wealth wizard shadow doula love anarchist intuitive channel and sovereign business coach. You’re here because you know intimate self connection is the source of everything you want to create in life. And that building safety and trust in your own body is what allows you to fully own and steward your energy and your relationships. Get ready to explore attachments, sexuality, spirituality, self expression and sovereignty and other relational themes from a trauma responsive somatic energetic lens. The conversations and tools shared in this podcast are designed to offer permission to create the abundant life, love and business that lights your soul on fire.


Unknown Speaker  1:03  

Hello, hello, hello. Are you ready for a fuck honest conversation about money, wealth and marketing? I sure hope so. Because this one is all about what to do, and how to be when you promise people results that you yourself don’t yet have. Right when I say it like that it feels totally out of integrity. But here’s the thing. There are relationship mentors who are not happily partnered. There are resilience coaches who are totally burnt out. There are confidence coaches that have bouts, bouts of insecurity. And there are wealth activists such as myself, who are not rich in the financial sense. So who am I? And who are any of those people, anyone to guide through a process they have not yet completed?


Unknown Speaker  1:55  

My take here is we all have to start somewhere, right? Like so where is that start line?


Unknown Speaker  2:04  

And how do you do it in a way where you don’t feel like a fraud where you’re not lying to people where you’re not gaslighting, your, your clients. This episode is your antidote to imposter phenomenon. So let’s get into it. So the inspiration for our for this episode came from two places. First I saw that I saw posed by a well known coach who talked about the incongruency between what you teach and where you are in the process as a product of shaman shadow. And you know that I am all about shaman shadow you I’m all about like diving into those places that excavating and really sort of like getting in there.


Unknown Speaker  2:48  

And when I sat with it, honestly, it didn’t land fully for me. I’m not saying that that was wrong. That is part of it. And there was another piece where I’m like, No, that’s not the whole story. It didn’t feel right to just blanket conceptualize it in that way. And I’ll go deeper into that a little later on. But the second inspiration for this episode, and this conversation came from being in the sauce or in the waters of money, coaches and wealth influencers online and reading one rags to riches story after the other.


Unknown Speaker  3:27  

You know,


Unknown Speaker  3:29  

I was on welfare, and I was living on food stamps, and I was living in government housing. And then I did this and I have a seven figure business. And I’m just like, awesome, I celebrate you. But then I started to ask myself, where were you while you were going through the process? Like, I didn’t see any of those steps? Like how are you? How are you showing up while you weren’t in a state of completion, because you’re just showing me the finished product. But I want to see the steps like did were you not showing up online? Were you hiding that part and sort of like you waited until it was done? And then you’re like Tada, bursting out on the scene, right? So my question was, like, Do people just hide and then show up to share the process after the fact. And as I wrestled with this question, as I thought about that, because I’m sort of this like, rebellious, you know, kind of like ornery and like, I guess oppositional in a way by nature and nurture. I thought I would poke a hole in that trend and offer my experience, which is very much about being in the process versus a state of completion. So in other words, you know, I’m not a millionaire, you know, I’m not wealthy in the financial sense. I don’t bear the external markers of someone who’s swimming in cash. And to be honest, even even if I were swimming in cash, it might not. It might never look like that on the outside because, first of all, I don’t drink. I don’t go out to eat


Unknown Speaker  5:00  

because my diet is so limited because of my chronic illness, I don’t like going to stores and buying things.


Unknown Speaker  5:09  

I’m a minimalist, I am attuned to how our buying behaviors impact the planet. Bling is just not my thing. You’re never gonna see me like, you know clinking champagne glasses with somebody. Right? However, am I set up for retirement? Yes, I am. Have I set my children up financially? Absolutely, yes. Without a doubt. And that has been my whole reason for wanting to transform my money story and help other people do the same. Right? becoming financially literate.


Unknown Speaker  5:40  

Growing my confidence growing the confidence to steward money responsibly, right. And


Unknown Speaker  5:48  

the other question here is like, am I wealthy beyond measure? Also? Yes, yes. It doesn’t matter how much money I have in my bank account. I don’t feel broke. Brokenness is something I luckily have not felt in a long time in my life. Have I been pinched, financially in moments? Absolutely, yes. But in those moments, I still feel so wealthy because of my education, because of the relationships in my life, like all of these other factors that contribute to my embodiment of wealth.


Unknown Speaker  6:22  

And do I want to make a lot of money? Absolutely, yes, I am motivated by money. I love making money, I love creating with money. Being in relationship with the energy of money is fun and exciting and freeing and delicious, right. And every day, I take the steps and actions that will bring me closer to that goal, both in the refinement of embodying the person who can receive hold, and manage bigger quantities of money, and in the refinement of my sales and marketing skills in a way that feels heart aligned, transparent and in service.


Unknown Speaker  7:02  

So I want to back up to inspiration number one for this podcast, the idea that if you’re teaching something you’ve not yet completed, you’re out of integrity. And I just don’t agree with that. Because for me, even though, you know, I did feel a little bit of defensiveness, when I read that post, I did sit with it for a few days to really like, let it sink in. And why that what I concluded was that sometimes we know things for sure.


Unknown Speaker  7:34  

And sometimes we really embody that thing that we know, right? The knowing is the embodiment. But they manifest materially on a different timeline, right? Like, just because you embody something doesn’t mean that it shows up at the moment you embody it. Sometimes it happens later, sometimes, you know, sometimes you manifest it first, and then you embody it later, right? It’s like sometimes it’s just all flipped over.


Unknown Speaker  8:04  

Like, I know that I will reach my financial goals, there’s no room for doubt that I’m not going to materially experienced the thing that I know to be true for myself, which is that I will experience material financial freedom one day, when that is I don’t know, but I know that it’s going to happen. I know that that is for me. I know. That is what, that’s what I want. I want to experience that just for funsies in this lifetime. And I feel financially free right now. And I will experience that freedom in a different way. Somewhere down the line, it’s not a matter sort of question of if it’s, it’s a win question, right? It’s a matter of when, and


Unknown Speaker  8:48  

that knowing, knowing that, that’s going to happen without a doubt, is the cure for any experience of imposter phenomenon or fraudulence that could possibly come up. Like, I’m not I know I am an integrity because I know that’s going to happen for me. Again, not a matter of if, but a matter of when. And so my job as someone who shares services, right, I share my offers and I invite people into them and into a process. You know, I’m someone who builds trust with a group of people including you. My job is to be completely transparent about that. My job is not to hide, and by not hiding also not reinforcing a culture of shame around the material reality of not like of like the material rollout reality, not matching the integrated one, the embodied one, right? Sometimes it’s not there.


Unknown Speaker  9:53  

In other words, here’s permission for you to embody something that may not be fully reflected in your life.


Unknown Speaker  10:00  

If, and still feel worthy of guiding people through a proud, powerful process that you know, is going to get them there. Because you know, you’re going to get there too. Okay?


Unknown Speaker  10:14  

So my rule, my personal rule is that you only need to be a few steps ahead of the people that you’re guiding, you don’t need to have it all figured out.


Unknown Speaker  10:27  

You don’t need to be done.


Unknown Speaker  10:29  

You know, and it’s really good when you can normalize that when you can be honest about that.


Unknown Speaker  10:38  

You know, when I was when I was working as a therapist, and I was offering or like relationship coaching to people who were polyamorous, this was many years ago, before I started doing it, you know, more recently again, but back in that time, I was not happily married, the communication in my, in my marriage was shit. I didn’t feel seen or heard or appreciated, and I didn’t appreciate my partner at the time.


Unknown Speaker  11:09  

And I was giving really amazing advice.


Unknown Speaker  11:13  

And yes, there was a part of it that was, you know, my, my shadow of codependence in my relationship. But it doesn’t mean that I didn’t help people. I still helped people. And,


Unknown Speaker  11:27  

and the what I offered was still important and still like, yeah, it still helps people develop better relationships, and then I write then it manifested for me later, it was already in process. And I was able to serve people. So yeah, I want to, you know, I want you to trust yourself, I want to give yourself, give you more permission to trust yourself as a guide. And not to be beating yourself up and thinking you’re doing it wrong. But to truly trust the process, and to be transparent about the process, as you’re living it. That’s the important part for me, like, I feel that is so much more revolutionary than the facade of, I have it all together, and look at me now versus where I was, then. You know, and I’m not gonna lie, these stories are very compelling. They’re very, like, they grab you, right? They’re just like, Oh, my God, like, that’s amazing. And right, we all can connect to that desire within us that fire that wants that too.


Unknown Speaker  12:30  

But those stories, leave out the true grit. And I feel like I want to cry, as I say this, like the juice, and the faith and the resilience of the action that is required to complete the process. Like, that is the fucking work, that integrity that like that, those moments of doubt, where you’re like, Oh, my God, like, Is this ever gonna work for me? And then you fucking pick yourself back up again? And you say, Yes, it is. And then you take another step.


Unknown Speaker  13:05  

You like, you just continue doing the thing. You want to break the fuck down? And you’re like, What the fuck is happening? You’re frustrated, you’re enraged? Even?


Unknown Speaker  13:17  

And, yes, and then you keep going. Right? I feel like, that is the real juice. For me. That is where like, Oh my God, I want to hang out there. Because this is where people start to doubt themselves more when they don’t see those stories reflected in real life when they don’t see that on social media, when they only see the end product. I really feel like we do people a disservice because it is all about the fucking process. Even if, you know we’re selling outcomes, even if we’re, you know, pointing people like this is where you can be. Let’s still talk about the nitty gritty process because for me, like again, that is the power path. Right? That is the place where you’re just like building that internal momentum that is where you’re developing resilience, that is where you are opening your capacity to receive more that is the the identity shifts, the you know, the caterpillar are getting inside that cocoon again. And then you know, the the melting down process. Let’s talk about the melting down the dissolution of all of those old parts that can’t come with you, as you are stepping into that new version of yourself and the grief that comes along with that because there are people who can no longer come with you. There are parts of yourself that can no longer come with you like that is the real shit. That is the real alchemy and that’s what I’m all about.


Unknown Speaker  15:00  

bout. So, you know, just as a shameless plug, this is the process that I guide people through is like that, that holding of the vision, the holding of the vision is the hardest thing that you will do.


Unknown Speaker  15:21  

In your journey through entrepreneurship, in in the journey of manifesting what you desire, whether it’s through entrepreneurship or through other means. That is like that is the hardest shit you will do. And that is where a lot of people give up. It is where a lot of people give up. And it’s where people need the most support. And we kind of forget that we need support. And so like, that is why I do what I do. Like. That is it. That’s where I want to hang out. And hopefully, this has been helpful to you.


Unknown Speaker  15:58  

I’d love to hear your feedback. Because this is like, this episode. I like this is was a mega download for me in the morning. I’m just like, oh, fuck, yes, I want to talk about this. And I feel like this is going to be a service to people. So I want you to tell me what you think about this. I want you to write in the comments, share this on social media. And then I want to I want to call like my call to action is for you to post about your process is to like, is to show the backend, right? What the back end looks like what the everyday looks like in your process of creating, right the creation process versus which is often messy. It’s not neat and tidy. So let’s fucking talk about it.


Unknown Speaker  16:49  

All right, I love you. Thank you so much for listening, and I’ll catch you on the next episode.


Unknown Speaker  16:55  

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