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4.1 | How to Lead When Your Ancestral Trauma is Activated with Daniela Miranda

Isha Vela 0:00
Welcome to Devotional Anarchy, a podcast about intimate embodied leadership that is radically human, honest AF and thereby inherently disruptive to systems of disempowerment and disconnection. I’m Isha Vela, trauma psychologists, certified somatic practitioner, wealth wizard, licensed financial professional leadership coach, and intuitive business mentor. You’re here because you know self intimacy and self knowledge is the source of everything you want to create in your life. And that building safety and trust in your body is what allows you to fully own and steward your energy in the direction of your desires. This season, get ready for deep dives into wealth building, spirituality, emotional leadership, and human centered business with an activist twist. The conversations and tools shared in this podcast are your permission slip to manifest a life and business that lights your soul on fire and supports collective liberation.

Isha Vela 0:56
Wow, season four.

Unknown Speaker 1:00
It’s been an amazing three years. And I wanted to start this season with a conversation I had with Daniella Miranda, the ceremonial leader of my Bucha ancestry and unfriending photographer about what leadership looks like in the face of genocide. And this conversation sprung from a post I made online in December about celebrating Hanukkah and simultaneously calling for a ceasefire.

Unknown Speaker 1:25
No, it wasn’t the most thoughtful post, it came from a place of pain and powerlessness. And instead of holding it, I did an impulsive thing. And there was a war of words that broke out in the comment section of that post, which was also incredibly painful, and led me to ask myself how I wanted to lead around this topic. So loaded with ancestral trauma. The last thing I wanted to do I knew was to keep poking in it.

Unknown Speaker 1:55
And in fact, that’s what a lot of my conversations behind the scenes have been about over the last months, how to lead what to say, if adding one’s voice adds anything to the conversation or have it’s just an attempt to find meaning and relevance and a fucked up situation and centering yourself in the process. Or whether listening to and supporting marginalized voices while allowing yourself to feel the pain and grief is the way to go. So spoiler alert, I don’t have the answers. And I feel like this conversation brings in some nuanced elements to consider in the chaos of what’s happening. All right, let’s dive in.

Unknown Speaker 2:37
All right, Daddy, I’m so excited to have this conversation with you. I think it’s a really important conversation that we need to be having. Right now. Especially as

Unknown Speaker 2:50
you know, as we become more aware of what is happening politically, as we become more conscious about how we speak to one another, online and offline, this is the conversation I want to be having, and I’m so glad to be having it with you.

Unknown Speaker 3:06
Me too. Me too, in mind, I think that it’s, like I said before, I think it’s an important conversation, especially, you know, for our good dude, I think that we are being activated and even though, you know, it’s, it’s, it may seem like a separate issue, I think that it’s so intertwined in, in our story, our story of our culture. And so, you know, there’s a lot of activations that are happening now. And so I think that as, as the days go by, and as more and more you know, we get activated I think that you know, within our good Buddha, it’s important to talk about this and talk about ways that we can regulate to talk about all all the things that can help our, our beautiful nervous system really regulate and, and continue day to day. So

Unknown Speaker 4:08
yeah, and so I’m, I’m curious as to what’s being activated for you, because I know a lot of a lot is being activated for me, I wanted to know, what’s coming up for you, as we

Unknown Speaker 4:20
talk about, you know, what’s going on between Israel and Palestine and what’s, you know, the bigger picture right not just sort of staying in the micro but looking at the macro, like the bigger forces at play. What is coming up for you inside that?

Unknown Speaker 4:37
Yeah, like, you know, the first when when October’s haven’t happened,

Unknown Speaker 4:43
you know, it was just a sadness, right? A sadness of where,

Unknown Speaker 4:49
where we are still in, in this world, especially after going through 2020 You know, after going through the massive you know,

Unknown Speaker 5:00

Unknown Speaker 5:02
a massive and global pandemic and having to be inside and having to kind of reassess what’s important and what’s not important, so to be here again today, and for people to be going through the same exact thing, for me, it just it was there was a sadness

Unknown Speaker 5:23
of, of the collective of it, you know, why are we here? Again, haven’t we learned? So, I think that, that, for me, that was my first initial reaction. And of course, as the days and as, you know, the months have gone by, it’s just has gotten into anger.

Unknown Speaker 5:42
And, and the feeling of oppression, and the feeling of genocide, you know, that strongly lives within my lineage and my ancestors. So, you know, what was really activated was a sense of urgency, you know, we have to do something now. And,

Unknown Speaker 6:04
you know, we have to protect the children, you know, I’m going through something with my child. And so, that was really, really hard for me to witness, you know, of course, all the people and of course, you know, the adults, the, the animals, I mean, let’s not forget about these poor animals, and, and mothers and parents and grandparents.

Unknown Speaker 6:28
But for me, what was really present? And because I’m going through something, you know, very, very hard with my daughter, it was, it just hit me, right. And so all of those generational traumas and wounds and everything that was activated within us, and we have to understand that, you know, sometimes when we haven’t done our spiritual work, right, and we don’t know that the the oppressed sensations, or the things that are alive within our DNA gets passed down through our DNA. And now it’s scientifically proven that that happens. Yeah, right. So when something like this is occurring, and we feel hopeless, and we feel, you know, we’re witnessing what we’re witnessing, right, we’re witnessing genocide, our whole body remembers from our ancestors. And so of course, we’re gonna go into a fight or flight or freeze mode, like this is what’s being activated within the community that like, whether you know it or not, whether you’re like, why am I so angry? Or why do I feel so sad? Or why do I feel all this all this stuff? And it’s, it’s really the activation of the DNA that’s been passed down through through our lineage, it’s, it’s literally within our Contura what is going on in the other side, so of course, like, on both sides, so I just want to make sure that, I think that for me, it’s really important to understand both sides, and not, and not put hatred towards a group of people. Because I think that that’s, you know, we’ve been witnessing that of like, having an opinion and it’s like a group of people. Right, right. I think that it’s, it’s really about, like you said before, so beautifully. It’s like a bird’s eye view, right, of what’s going on. And having compassion for what’s being activated. Within the Jewish community. Yes. And also the, the oppression and the genocide of what’s going on on the other side, you know, so I think that it’s, it’s, it’s having that bird’s eye view and looking at it from both sides. Yes, yes. Really being able to hold space for all of it. Right for every person’s experience, every human every humans experience, like you know, when when the events in October happened when the attack happened in October, I reached out to

Unknown Speaker 9:19
some, my closest Jewish friends and was just expressing my, my sadness and like, are you okay kind of thing.

Unknown Speaker 9:30
Because I have like a personal sort of investment in in Jewish culture and the Jewish community has a Gentile but um, and so that was like, my first instinct. And then

Unknown Speaker 9:45
I had another I had a friend reached out to me who’s was has Middle Eastern roots, and she was sort of inviting me into activism and, and I’ve always been a political person and just kind of

Unknown Speaker 10:00
Like, holding space for, like, my, my connection to the Jewish faith and not the Jewish faith so much as like the some of the cultural values that I’ve learned and that I’ve really come to appreciate. And then also, like, what you were saying this feeling of like understanding what colonization means, on a cellular level, right, through epigenetic transferred through trauma, and feeling like, like that’s being kind of like rattled in myself and in my, in my body. And then like, I resonate so much with what you said about like, as a parent right now, and having lost my children’s father and being protective over my children and their emotional health.

Unknown Speaker 10:53
I feel like I’m on Mama Bear mode. And so when I see a video of a child screaming to stop, I just want to like, I wouldn’t be like, motherfuckers stop, like, that’s kind of like how I want to come in and be like, All right, y’all motherfuckers need to like, you know, that’s sort of Yeah, me.

Unknown Speaker 11:13
That’s what rises up in me, and, and, you know, can really inflame my trauma. And I feel tears coming up in my eyes, as I say this, because like,

Unknown Speaker 11:26
yeah, sometimes, like, I have days where I just, I just cry, like, I just, I need to protect myself from watching all of the videos, I will be informed enough so that I know what’s going on. But I also need to care for myself and be an informed citizen, and also

Unknown Speaker 11:44
have a respect for the inflammation.

Unknown Speaker 11:48
Right? And to know, like, Okay, this is triggering me, I’m not going to expose myself to any more triggers, I’m just going to take a break and like, rest and soothe and, and then I can come back. But I need to also like, go in and pull out go in and pull out just to take care of myself and be able to show up in my day to day, right.

Unknown Speaker 12:10
Yeah, yeah, I think it’s important. And, like, you know, for me, I think it’s important to be able to take care of yourself and really regulate your nervous system. Because, listen, I really, you know, I’ve been going through, you know, I’ve shared with you what I’ve been going through, and when I first got activated, and I feel like this is like that same kind of activation, when I first got activated with the survival of you know, keeping my my youngest alive. Yeah. I was in like fight or flight mode, like I was Mama Bear, I you know what, like, going and going and going, and what I’ve learned about that space, and what is helping me today is really the self care and activating the things that are taking, you know, taking care of myself, like drinking more water than usual. Because when we’re in activated when we’re in that fight, or freeze, or the three F’s.

Unknown Speaker 13:15
When we’re in that space, like our body needs more water, it also needs more gut, you know, we need to take care of our gut a more, you know, so drinking something with probiotic, having like emergency so that your immune system isn’t lower, because there’s a whole bunch of stuff that’s happening with chemicals that it is all chemicals, the cortisone like, we’re being like the adrenal, the adrenal fatigue, like and we can’t keep on going. So like that whole taking a pause. And, and doing that for yourself. And your family is so important.

Unknown Speaker 13:54
And it’s so crucial for the longevity of something like we can’t go in hot, right? And start weaving, weaving our fist and just keep on going, going, going, going, yes, because at the end, we’re going to be burned out and the objective of this whole,

Unknown Speaker 14:13
I feel that the objective of this whole space of what is happening is really to have a resolution

Unknown Speaker 14:22
for peace. And for the stopping of killing, I mean, on both sides. So like, both sides need to, like there has to be something

Unknown Speaker 14:38
a lot better. And I was just I was talking to a friend of mine, who were talking about, like, you know, she was saying, like, well, you know, if cease fire happens, like they’re just going to go after Israel. Right? Because it’s Hamas. And so, in and

Unknown Speaker 15:00
If that could happen, and I’m not, I’m not saying that it can’t happen, but we can’t. What I don’t think is in this is what I feel like is a trauma response. What I think is like taking a step back and really saying, is that really true? And how can we as a society and as militant in having so much knowledge and technology and all the things that that the government has to not find

Unknown Speaker 15:34
the pointed people who are bringing this harm, and not do something about that, and not involve children and citizens that are innocent, right. There are other I just what you’re saying, there are other ways, and let’s be, let’s just find them. Yeah. Yeah, let’s be creative. Because if there was, you know, I think of our ancestors, and I think of, you know, the way that things happened, and history can’t keep on repeating itself. Like, when is enough is enough? Like, we’ve seen this over and over. Hey, it’s so it’s so done. It’s so fucking done. Yeah, the strategy Oh, done work. Yeah. Yeah. And we have, like, we’re being activated left and right. And we’re being asked in our hearts is this really the way that we need to do this, like, Earth Pachi Mama is not ours, like in that when we have separated our, our, our essence, our body, our everything, from a separation of what Bachi Mama is, yes, we have created this distortion of mine, his, you know, mine’s more, yours is less like, we have created this distortion of power. And we just need to go back. And there’s so many prophecies, you know, that have been, that have been said, in many tribes, that this is a time for the Earth to be activated. This is a time for us. meaning for us to understand that we are part of the Earth, we have the elements within us. And when I do cacao ceremonies, you know, part of the cacao ceremony, you know, to invocate, the cacao ish cacao into the into the drink before the journey begins. There is a thanking of the elements, it’s like, Thank you, because the elements and we know then this in the indigenous communities, that the elements are within us, right? So we have fire, we have water, we have air, we have the Earth, we have Vieira. And so when we start connecting back to that essence of, of I am of the earth, and earth is ahead of me.

Unknown Speaker 18:04
And we are all human, we all we all do the same exact things. Right? We all get up in the morning, we all go to the bathroom. We all like you know, we all have, you know, some people have children more responsibilities and others. But we all we all live and we all die.

Unknown Speaker 18:24
And in that space of living and dying, we just need to remember that we all have the same sameness inside of us. And how can we connect to that without being activated within our trauma? Because we know that in the subconscious, right, let’s just talk about the subconscious.

Unknown Speaker 18:47
We’ve been programmed from zero to seven. Right? And so everything that we do in this activation and what we’re being activated in is from directly from a trigger of that subconscious programming. Yeah. Yeah. And, of course, and having compassion for all the people that are myself included, you know, who have been activated in this. And it’s really beautiful to to really step back and say, okay, am I being activated? Because of a trauma? Like, where’s this coming from? And getting deeper with that? Yeah. Yeah, getting curious, getting really curious about why you’re feeling and also

Unknown Speaker 19:35
giving yourself the time, which I don’t always do, to really be with it to really have a relationship with what’s happening inside of your body. Right, because we want relief. We want to take the pain away, and we will then write something or say something and it can come from an impulsive place from a place of wanting to relieve the pain of wanting to sort of like

Unknown Speaker 20:00
To make it less instead of relating to it, right, this happens in, you know, marital relationships that happens in our relationship with our children, right? We, we get uncomfortable, we have a fear reaction, and then we write we sort of discharge it instead of having a relationship with it. So, you know, I feel like something that I’m always working on, is that holding the holding of that internal space and holding the curiosity of like, all right, like, what’s, what are you feeling? What’s happening here? What do you need? I feel like the most important question that we can ask ourselves as regulated, embodied leaders is, what do you need right now? Like, maybe it is to say something? But, you know, do you need to say something? How do you want to say it? What do you how do you want to lead? From where do you want to lead? What is your objective?

Unknown Speaker 20:56
Yeah, and always asking the questions like, What is your what do you need on an emotional level? What do you need on a physical level, sometimes it is, drink more water, sometimes it is put on the baggy sweatpants you can find and just like curl up on the couch for a couple of hours of dislike,

Unknown Speaker 21:14
just want to soothe myself, right?

Unknown Speaker 21:18
And being compassionate, when you do get triggered, right? Because we will we all we are. So like, we’re so loaded up with all of the unprocessed generational trauma that’s been right, just passed down through epigenetics. And so it’s gonna happen. We’re not going to get mad at ourselves when it happens. Like, oh, fuck, I’m triggered again. But like, okay, so what do I do now? Well, how do I care for myself now? You know? Yeah. Yeah. I personally, listen, I think that everything is information when I took on there is this when I did?

Unknown Speaker 21:59
Not this summer, last summer, I heard this woman who I connected to in Montana, and we were talking about

Unknown Speaker 22:08
marriage, we’re, we’re deep in in talking about marriage. And, you know, in in we were, we were talking about like, oh, I don’t like this, and I don’t like that. And, you know, and the greatest thing that she ever said to me was like, everything is just information.

Unknown Speaker 22:26
Like, it’s just information, even the triggers, because triggers are really what is still alive in us and what we still believe. Yes, within us, and I’m sorry about my, my puppy.

Unknown Speaker 22:42
What is what is alive within us? And what? What is? What is it that I still believe within me? Yeah, that that is true. Yeah. Right. And so it’s, it triggers are really never about the person who’s saying it. Because when you come from a space of and I love that, you that you touched on that because I really think that as an embodied as an embodied leader. You know, you do your work, right, you, you, you cleanse your energy for me, like I do to cow I’ve gotten into, you know, doing se k with my business partner.

Unknown Speaker 23:26
I’ve gotten into somatic movement and just in trauma, like just moving the trauma out of my body. Yes. And you come from a space of an aligned perspective, right? And you’re, and you’re just putting out your truth, right? The truth that, you know, at this moment, right, the truth can be changed the following day. And that’s the truth. Like, it can be I can, I can say like, this is, this is what I believe today.

Unknown Speaker 23:59
And then the next day, it could be you know, what, that was really harsh. And, and maybe it wasn’t really it was it was alive, because it was I was hurting, or I was doing something or I just wanted, it was it was alive in me at that moment.

Unknown Speaker 24:17
And it could, it could shift, but if you’re doing it from a space of really being connected, really have done your your energy work, really have connected to like letting go of all that trauma that’s built within us. Then when you speak, you’re speaking from a space of of your truth. And whoever gets triggered after that. It’s like, okay, I did my work, right. And now, why are you being triggered because this is this is my truth. Mm hmm. Yeah. And unfortunately, in the online space, right, that that can create sort of this

Unknown Speaker 24:59
like a content

Unknown Speaker 25:00
Agent triggering, right? One person speaks their truth and then the other person is triggered. And then, right there is a war that happens in the comments. And then the person who originally spoke is then also triggered because, right? They feel attacked. And it’s like, I feel like, you know, something that I that I want to talk about on this episode too is like, when we speak our truth as thought leaders, how can we take care of ourselves, right? Because a lot of people are afraid of speaking their truth because they will be canceled, they will be criticized, they will get pushback, they will be you know, like rejection and abandonment, right. This is those are the things that we’re afraid of. Those are the things that we most, our social nervous system most fears, which is why people are often silent. A lot of us don’t even know what the fuck to say, right? Because we’re so frozen, we’re so horrified by what’s happening. It’s like, how do you even, like, if I say something doesn’t mean anything, do I help at all right? But caring for yourself as a thought leader is so important because because it’s important.

Unknown Speaker 26:11
thought leadership is important, because we need leaders who are regulating and, and aware and conscious and embodied, right, all of those things. And we’re also human, right, we are sure it’s gonna get triggered. And like, you know, on on Monday, I, as I was sharing, before we got on the before we started recording, I all of my childhood, like, like a particular piece of my childhood stuff came up and it was all around, like, everybody hates you, everybody hates you. And I was like, my thoughts were running like, like a hamster wheel. Like, my landlord hates me, my neighbors hate me because I make too much noise. And it made it very hard for me to reach out to my friends and ask for support, which is ultimately what I ended up doing and ended up being like, what kind of like to got me back down and got me connected to my body again, because I was so like, my brain was screaming, right? It was just so like,

Unknown Speaker 27:13

Unknown Speaker 27:14
And, and when my friend when I talked to my friend on Tuesday morning, I just felt myself snap back into my body. On Monday, I I was really good to myself, I took a I basically took the day off, I was easy and gentle on myself. I did a lot of breathing.

Unknown Speaker 27:33
I moved my body. My I moved my body and I like observing, observing the thoughts and not reacting from those thoughts. Right when I get in my head, I know that it’s not real. I’ve been around the block long enough to know that when my head is like zooming, it’s like, okay, I’m having an activation, I can sort of like, observe it and just kind of be like, Okay, we’ll just wait until this passes. And I’m not going to pay. Just gonna watch it like a like a ticker tape, but not really like believe what I’m thinking and be like, Oh my God, my landlord really does hate me. And no, I’m like, Okay, wow, that’s interesting. Right? Again, like from the perspective of oh, that’s information interesting. But it’s hard to hold that neutrality and hard to hold that space sometimes, right? I was really uncomfortable. I couldn’t even like I was so frozen, I couldn’t even smile.

Unknown Speaker 28:26
And I told my kids, like, I’m just having a hard day. I’m just having, like, I’m having a day to day, and it’s not you

Unknown Speaker 28:33
just having a hard day, you know, and that’s the way that I was able to have compassion with myself and also care for myself. And then finally, you know, after whatever, 24 hours come back into my body and, and be able to write something in response to what had happened. That felt like, Oh, this feels like this feels more me this feels more congruent. This is the way that I want to show up.

Unknown Speaker 28:57

Unknown Speaker 28:59
Yeah. And I, and I think that the way that you get to that space is really,

Unknown Speaker 29:06
I think that you did it. And I think that you did it beautifully. And I think that that’s the part where compassion comes in, like we all get in a space where we get activated. And, you know, we were so afraid sometimes we’re afraid of our feelings. And I you know, I talk about this a lot about rage and about anger and about allowing that to be and, and allowing for the for, you know, for emotions to to be alive, right? It’s like, it takes 90 seconds to feel your emotions like to have to feel the emotion and for it to pass, right? Yes, yes. And the reason why it becomes so big is because we hold it in, right Yeah, hold it don’t let it in Rue right. So like a

Unknown Speaker 30:00
Imagine if it was like, oh my god, I’m afraid and calling and calling the person and just saying I’m making up a story, calling the friend. I’m making up a story that everybody hates me. Can you just like, let me know what the story is, like I’m making up this story in my head. And when you don’t have that availability of connecting to that person, I always decide to move my body because moving moving my body and letting that trauma release from the body. You’re literally allowing your mind to take a step three you know, you’re just like, like stopping Thank you for listening to today’s episode just saying remember to hit the subscribe button to get notified body when we leave each month that if you haven’t already, five star review on iTunes, make sure that everyone

Unknown Speaker 30:54
loves us look for Somali till the next episode, I’m sending you connection yesterday with a really hard day for me. And I was I was being I was being activated, in a different sense, the same and different. And, you know, I was in an open trauma loop. So like it like of course, everything that was happening was really big. And it just seemed like, I’m never like, I was never going to find a solution. Yes. And when

Unknown Speaker 31:27
you know, I, I use cacao regularly. So and I noticed that I hadn’t had cacao in a couple of days. So I was like, oh, okay, yeah, like, I have to drink my cacao, I have to just get grounded and let that medicine go inside my you know, it takes 20 minutes for that medicine to be activated within within the body. And it’s really something that I have used so that I can center into my being right. And it’s continuously continuously letting the energy go of the collective. And coming back to your, your own energy. Now, yes, yes. Do leaders make mistakes? Of course, like nobody, like you said, we’re all human. So like, like, is there going to be a space where you feel inside of your body, this activation from what’s happening, and especially in the cold Tura? Like, like of anger and wanting to blame the like, the big person and wanting to blame like anybody who’s like, you know, at this moment, anybody who’s Jewish and wanting to do something, or the government, or the government and all this stuff, of course, like who isn’t human? Who hasn’t thought of that? But then you step back and you say, okay, is that really the truth? And where is it coming from? And how can we find a better solution for something that has been going on for 1000s of years? And, and and this is what I’m going to say, even if it’s been going on for 1000 1000s of years, and people are out there and saying like, well, what can we do about it, there is things that you can do about it, and you can be supportive of both sides. It doesn’t just have to be a one sided right now. It seems like it’s a one sided fight because of what’s happening and the destruction that the massive destruction, and massive, you know, massacres that are happening and the genocide that is happening. So it may seem like it’s one sided. But let’s not forget the other side of it also. And the the trauma loop that they’re in, I mean, like, like, they’ve also experienced genocide, they’re also being activated and being an EN, and they’re not there. You know, a lot of the people haven’t done the work and haven’t said like, Okay, what is the best solution to this? So it’s up to us to really get into the space of, let’s have these conversations, like, what are you feeling? And why do you feel that way? Why do you think, you know, I had this conversation just the other day, it’s like, Why do you think that because I’m asking to cease fire that I’m against Jewish people. Like there’s nothing about that. That is even remotely true. I’m just saying cease fire, because what is happening is horrific. And it’s challenging, and it’s not right. And it shouldn’t ever happen again, like not happening for anybody. And so, that is the conversation that I would be interested to having with the with the Jewish community is like, what is it

Unknown Speaker 35:00
Like it explained to me right in, in the space of like, we’re being activated, all of us are being activated within our trauma response.

Unknown Speaker 35:10
Like, let’s talk about, let’s talk about beyond that trauma response and how we can. How we can resolve this. Yeah. Yeah. Any way, shape or form?

Unknown Speaker 35:23
Yes. And I know that when I am in, you know, when, when Hurricane Maria happened, for example,

Unknown Speaker 35:32
I was so in my

Unknown Speaker 35:36

Unknown Speaker 35:38
that it was really hard for me to even have a conversation. Because I was just like, so heartbroken over my land being destroyed. You know, what I feel like is my land, what isn’t my land, but Mother Earth, the destruction of Mother Earth? And just like I was just in so much pain, that it’s so hard to have those conversations from the place of pain unless there is that, that space of safety. When, when, yeah, to be able to hold that space of safety, where it’s like, yes, you can bring all of yourself you can bring the rage, and the anger and the sadness and the grief. And I will be here for you without trying to intellectualize it, without trying to sort of put out a quick fix solution or se, but what about, right where we

Unknown Speaker 36:36
bypass or deny what you’re feeling, right? I feel like what you said earlier about making space for the rage and the grief, that is so important. And that’s ultimately what connects us, us all to our humanity. We all have these fucking feelings, right? We all have these emotions. And

Unknown Speaker 36:57
I feel like, that’s the route that I would love. More of us to take

Unknown Speaker 37:05
is around holding space, whether it’s, you know,

Unknown Speaker 37:10
community circles, or whether it happens one on one, for us to be able to just be like, okay, just give it to me, just just give me like, dump it out, give me all the stuff. Like, just let it, let it run through that. Let yourself have it, whatever the rage is, like, express it. Right? Even if it’s inappropriate, even if it’s right. hard to hear, or, yeah, I think that that’s the most. I mean, for me, that’s the part that is the most important part. Like we can listen, we can meditate. Meditation is really, really important. We can, you know, do all the things. But I think that at the end of the day,

Unknown Speaker 37:54
rage that lives within us has to be expressed, because if we can’t express it, and it doesn’t, like, there’s this beautiful practice, it’s called.

Unknown Speaker 38:07
And I can’t think of it right now.

Unknown Speaker 38:10
It’s called aspecting. Like emotional aspecting. Okay, and it’s a beautiful practice that I learned from another woman from out there in Montana.

Unknown Speaker 38:24
Can you hold on for one second? Can you pause this? So I can just Yes, absolutely.

Unknown Speaker 38:31
All right. aspecting. Yeah, emotional aspect in which I learned from another woman out there in Montana.

Unknown Speaker 38:41
And it’s really about connecting to that rage, connecting to that sadness, and being able to speak what your truth is. And it’s not like, this is where it really becomes, like a beautiful practice, because it has nothing to do with the perspective of that other person. Yes, for that other group of people. It’s like, this is what I’m feeling. This is what it is that what’s the story that is running through my body? This is how, like, this is the expression that I need to say. And then the aspecting really, is that the other let that you yourself turn around, right? There’s like a shifting a perspective that you are that other person. Right? Right. Exactly. It’s like I did aspecting I did aspecting a lot of my aspecting with with my daughter like this last time. And it was like I just expressed everything. Like I said all the things and I said what I was feeling without having an N and Riley, my daughter wasn’t there. It was just me

Unknown Speaker 40:00
Yeah, and this space and the facilitator, and it was like, just crying and raging and saying all the things and then turning around and, and aspecting as if I was my daughter, and just saying everything that, you know, channeling everything that I think that she would say, you know, so you get to have this beautiful understanding, and you just release that rage, and release.

Unknown Speaker 40:29
Ultimately release whatever you’re thinking, because if it lives inside of you know, I love Gaber Matt day, and he like his, his whole space of

Unknown Speaker 40:41
the trauma lives that lives within our bodies, it gets stored within our bodies and eventually ends into like some form of disease, which is, you know, you know, that’s an indigenous and indigenous knowledge that has been passed down through our generations forever, right? So that it’s actually coming out into the world is just really beautiful. And for like the mainstream to kind of see like, oh, this could be this could be a possibility, like, our indigenous community already knew that. And so that’s why, you know, when we practice this, when you go back to the medicine, medicine, of our ancestors, our ancestors knew how to release rate, yes, our ancestors knew how to connect to the land, our ancestors knew all the things that they needed to do in order for this system or body system to be at its optimal healthy. Like, it’s just, it just created a beautiful eco system within our bodies. Yeah. Because it was about balance. It was about slowing down. It was understanding balance is regulation. Right? Yeah. It’s,

Unknown Speaker 41:54
it’s so it’s such regulation. And so even when you’re activated, right, and you’re like, raging, and you feel like cuddling, you know, putting on yourself hands and going and taking a rest. That’s literally your body wisdom, doing what it needs to do, because that’s what our ancestors has been programmed to do. There is this beautiful story that I I always love to share, because it just goes into the depths of that we are so primal, right? I was doing I was learning how to facilitate cacao right, and learning and connecting to that plant medicine. And I’ve been connected to that plant medicine since 2013. And this year, like, you know, in the last three years, it’s been more like of, like, mental wellness, connection. Yeah. And so, I was in, in, in class, you know, quote, unquote, class with the elders. And, you know, I was we were learning medicine songs that we we sing during cacao. And so I had said to my teacher, fluid INSIA, I said to her, you know, there is the sound now she the most beautiful thing is that she comes from my Bucha nations, which I come from my Bucha nation. So when I said to her, like, there is this deep that I keep on hearing within me, and I don’t know what it is, I don’t know what I’m like, where it’s coming from. And so at the end, you know, to respect the Mind you the, the Mayan culture and how they do cacao ceremonies.

Unknown Speaker 43:32
Like I don’t, I don’t do those song Metis those those songs. Because it’s, it’s, you know, I want to respect the Buddha and how it’s done. But then when I was looking and researching, you know, the Maputo nation, I stumbled upon a, a sound of, of, you know, the be of of people singing within ceremony, and I stopped and I listened and it was the same exact be in the same exact song that wanted to come out. And it was like in celebration of life, right? And there this is why, like, within us there’s so much information and so much knowledge so, you know, how did I know that be like, I don’t know I haven’t been in the Maputo nation in the on the land. We haven’t been on that land for centuries, you know, like our ancestors were, were taken off their lands and and, you know, created we needed to assimilate into into a good Buddha that really was in that really wasn’t ours. And so our our profound connection of the day to day has been lost like we have created, you know, have you know, through our my grandmother

Unknown Speaker 45:00
My great grandmother and, and my great grandmother have passed on some knowledge and some medicina. But it’s never like this is, you know, this is the song or this is what we used to do. So to be able to have that in me, yeah, and hear it in, in audio from, you know, from that land.

Unknown Speaker 45:25
Everything lives within us. And so when we’re being activated, it’s just really important to take care of you to listen, right to listen to what’s being activated and take care.

Unknown Speaker 45:39
Yeah, and then, like, if people of course, people are gonna respond to that trigger, but it’s our job as the leader to be like, Okay, I see you, and I see your trigger. And I hear you. And it’s not my trigger to carry because it doesn’t live within me. And I’m just putting out my truth to what I’m seeing. And triggers are really beautiful for people. Like

Unknown Speaker 46:08
I personally love triggering people, because it’s like, it’s great, because now we can heal. Like now, like, this activation brain here is allowing us to see each other and to communicate in a way that maybe we haven’t been able to communicate before. Yeah, yeah, I mean, what if we called activations, awakenings?

Unknown Speaker 46:29
Yeah, little awakenings.

Unknown Speaker 46:32
Right. And it’s like, it doesn’t have to be like, it’s not like, listen, our bodies are right now. In that fight or flight, or freeze mode? Yeah. So of course, like, anything that comes at us, we’re gonna be like, it’s gonna be, it’s gonna feel bigger than it really than it is. Yes. Yeah. Right. Yes. And so in our minds, like saying to our minds, because we can never get into our subconscious, right? In our minds, we can say, hey, we’re just being really activated. Our survival mode is being activated. And her and like, put your hand to your heart. Because, you know, just even yourself touching you. Like, the body doesn’t know that you’re not you.

Unknown Speaker 47:24
It’s like, it just knows that something is touching you, right? And so like, when you’re being activated, just place her hand in your heart. And, and, and just say, I love you. I love you. I love you. And it’s okay to feel this way. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to rage. It’s okay to scream. It’s okay to have, like, all the things. And it’s okay. Yeah, yeah, you’re gonna take care of you. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 47:54
You know, and to wrap up this, this conversation around, like, leadership and really embodying our leadership when, when we, when we activate others, and others respond to that activation or react to that activation. I think a lot of us can,

Unknown Speaker 48:16
can go, right. And then we go in ourselves, we go into ourselves, and then we like, we want to hide, we want to hide under the covers, we want to like never show up again. Because we’re assaulting ourselves because we did something wrong, or we hurt people and right.

Unknown Speaker 48:33
And again, you know, the skills that we’re talking about on this episode are so so vital. in being able to have compassion for yourself, forgive yourself, and then continue to show up. Like don’t disappear, don’t like, take yourself out and be like, Oh, I fucked up. I’m not really a leader, oh, my God. And then you just you take yourself out. And then you’re done. Right? And then you disappear for I don’t know, one, two weeks, maybe more. And then you come back at No, like, keep showing up. Like, it’s okay to be messy. It’s okay to be imperfect. It’s okay to get it wrong. And like, we’re always failing forward. Like, I’m always I embrace that, like, I am going to fail. And I’m going to love failing, because I’m going to learn.

Unknown Speaker 49:18
Yeah, right. Oh, my God. I like I love that. Because it’s it is so true. It is so true. Yeah. And I think that the more that we show up, and I, I had this, I just did this cacao ceremony. Not too not too long ago. And lovely. Last, you know, the candles that I had gotten one of the women when you do the journey, and she got out of the journey, and I usually go it was a small group. So it’s when it’s a small group, I go around and ask them to share about their experience if they want to. Yeah, and so the first person that I asked to share she was like, I’m so angry. I am so angry. I’m like, This is so great. What are you angry about? And she’s like, I’m

Unknown Speaker 50:00
I’m so angry at your candles and how much toxins I’m smelling and

Unknown Speaker 50:07
like hating on my like, like legit hating on my candles and I but welcoming that, you know,

Unknown Speaker 50:14
but what a beautiful invitation and I said to her, like, Thank you for deepening me for, for deepening me into, into this to know, like the difference between candles and the difference between what clothes I’m wearing. Like, I think that this is great. And what happened within the group, she got so activated that she activated somebody else. And now they’re planning on bringing that activation to to change the school menu so that the kids can can eat cleaner. I mean, I was like, but Right. But what if, what if I can’t, I came home and I was like, oh my god, I made a mistake. Why didn’t I know that I should have used a different form of candles. But I didn’t know. And like just hating and hating and hating. Instead, I took that opportunity and as the leader, right, took that opportunity and say, Wow, this is really beautiful to deepen my practice, even with my ceremony. Yes, that’s an it’s an honor. And right and when you take it into like, this is information and and it’s not like it’s not against me, right? This is information for me to know.

Unknown Speaker 51:32
I mean, the universe is pretty is pretty amazing. When it comes to that

Unknown Speaker 51:40
that’s a great Oh, keep showing up. Yes, keep showing up and you’re gonna get knocked back. And that’s okay. That’s part of the process and keep failing forward. Be willing to do it messy. Be willing to be the villain in somebody else’s story like such such an important lesson. That’s been such an important lesson. That’s that’s medicine. That is medicine. Right there. Yes. Yeah. Danny, we can’t be people, people pleasers. Right, right. And so yeah. For this, anybody.

Unknown Speaker 52:17
Exactly. Thank you so much for this beautiful conversation and invitation to have this conversation is beautiful. Yeah. And it’s important for the people who are listening like you know, if they ever wanted to do cacao ceremonies with you, how can they get in touch with you? What’s available?

Unknown Speaker 52:39
Yeah, so I have you know, connection at Greystone that SEO is my, my website, and it has all the information, I do ceremonies every single Sunday. So I have a subscription that’s $25. And we get in, I get to give you recipes and meditation and prompts for that month. And we meet every single week for an hour for setting ammonia. So you know, it’s a beautiful way to start getting connected to Amadeus ina at a more regular rate.

Unknown Speaker 53:14
For those of for those people who want to connect deeper into the roots, you know, and you know, for me ancestral work has been one of my eautiful medicines. So I have this program, it’s a six month container. And right now I’m taking three people only three, because I think that it’s really important to

Unknown Speaker 53:35
be devoted to the to the three people and the program is called od hin. And you can find it on that website also.

Unknown Speaker 53:43
Yeah, and so I mean, every all the information is there, you can work with me one on one, I also have a podcast that I would love to invite you to and yeah, it’s called ancestor. It’s called sense, the ancestor hour, and I do it with Georgina and we talk about the ancestors and, and all that beautiful information on how to connect how to deepen at a you know, build it alive, how to, you know about trauma about you know, all the things that is just, you know, in our community that were being awakened to Awesome, awesome. And I also have a free

Unknown Speaker 54:24
a free course that you can get from my from my homepage on my website called flex the five pillars of nervous system capacitation and resilience which is basically like my my five the five pillars of my embodiment practice that I use in order to stay consistent as a leader to keep showing up in my business. So if that’s something that’s interesting to you, we talked about some of those practices, the you know, the emotional fluency and letting yourself have your rage and anger. That’s part of

Unknown Speaker 55:00
But but there’s also all of these other pieces. So that’s interesting, too. You can Oh, yeah, I’m gonna

Unknown Speaker 55:06
download it it. Just everybody download that because

Unknown Speaker 55:11
it’s important. The more and more I do this work, the more and more the nervous system work is so important. So I’m so happy that you have that. Yeah, yeah. All right, Danny

Unknown Speaker 55:25
said Hey,

Unknown Speaker 55:26
thank you so much for this.

Unknown Speaker 55:29
Thank you. Thank you for listening to today’s episode. Remember to hit the subscribe button to get notified of new episodes dropping on the new and full moons of each month. And if you haven’t already, leave us a five star review on iTunes to make sure that everyone who needs this transmission receives it. Until the next episode I’m sending you fierce, fierce love.